Everything
by DodgersGirl
Summary: Rory takes a walk late one night that changes it all. Literati (AFTER 2nd SEASON FINALE! I forgot to add that in the story)
1. The Note

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Gilmore Girls  
  
Rating: PG...PG-13 later  
  
Pairing: R/J, and eventually, maybe some L/L  
  
Please review....this is my first ever fan fic, so I need feedback!  
  
"Mom!" Rory cried, running across the airport to where her mother was waiting.  
  
"Dahling, you look mahvelous!" Lorelai said.  
  
"What a greeting. Complete with one of the weirdest accents I've ever heard...was that German you were going for?" Rory asked, grinning. Lorelai and Rory hugged for a minute.  
  
"Don't you recognize a British accent when you hear one? I can tell this entire trip to Washington didn't do you any good. You clearly haven't gained any worldly knowledge."  
  
"Nope, no worldly knowledge. But I did gain the knowledge of the fact that there's no place like home with my clearly caffeine-deprived mother. After we load up the luggage, let's go get coffee."  
  
"Aww...really? There's no place like home, Dorothy?"  
  
"Yes Auntie Em, there's no place like home. I tried clicking my heels while I was in Washington, but...no luck. I was still stuck with Paris...the Wicked Witch of the East...or was it West?"  
  
"I don't know, but all this babble about the Wizard of Oz somehow reminds me of coffee."  
  
"Everything reminds you of coffee."  
  
"A clear sign of serious deprivation. C'mon, let's go." Rory and Lorelai linked arms and headed for the doors, smiling and babbling on about the trip while Lorelai tried to remember where she parked the car.  
  
***  
  
Later, Rory and Lorelai sat in Luke's, both with steaming mugs of coffee. "Hey mom, I know you pride yourself on being very stubborn (the most stubborn person in the world, actually), but the way Luke's holding out on you, I think he might have rights to the title. Are you guys ever going to make up?" Rory asked. Lorelai took a long sip of her coffee. She thought for a minute, looking upset, but didn't answer. "What's going on?" Rory persisted. Lorelai looked even more upset.  
  
"Mom?" Rory asked.  
  
"Rory? Drop it." Lorelai ordered. Rory and Lorelai both fell silent for a minute. Rory took a long sip of her coffee and sighed.  
  
"So, is that coffee any better than the Washington's?" Lorelai said, changing the subject with a small smile.  
  
"Oh, you have no id-" Rory stopped short when she saw Jess come down the stairs. Rory felt very warm, and blood rushed to her face as she saw him glance over at her, without smirking. She remembered the kiss, and how good it had felt to be touching him. She blushed even redder, and quickly pushed that thought away. "I have a boyfriend!" she told herself sternly. "And I love him." But Jess held her attention for the moment, and she just looked deep into his eyes for a minute, her face still faintly flushed.  
  
Lorelai looked at her daughter, puzzled, and then followed her gaze to see Jess standing by the counter. She frowned, watched her daughter blush a deep red, and saw the two of them locked in a long stare. Finally, Lorelai tapped Rory on the shoulder. "Earth to Rory!" her mom called. Rory snapped around quickly.  
  
"Oh....sorry mom....I was just....thinking about-"  
  
"Jess naked?" her mom joked, but sounding worried. Rory blushed once more.  
  
"MOM! NO! Don't be gross." "Well judging by the way you stopped mid-sentence to stare like he was Tom Cruise, turned an attractive shade of maroon, and started to sweat..."  
  
"I was not sweating."  
  
"Oh, there were puddles." Rory shook her head, and averted her eyes. She studied the pool of dark brown liquid in her mug.  
  
"Rory? What is going on with you?" When Rory didn't respond, Lorelai went on.  
  
"Once again, I hate to be the one to ask, and I'm afraid of what the answer might be....but do you think maybe you're starting to-"  
  
"No." Rory said softly, interrupting, not wanting to have to hear the rest. But Lorelai studied her daughter. And even if Rory refused to admit it, she knew some kind of feeling was there, and that scared her. Rory, meanwhile, was replaying the kiss over and over in her mind. The two Gilmores fell silent, sipped their coffees, and let the last of the steam rising up from their mugs waft up by their faces and cloud their thoughts.  
  
***  
  
After coffee, the two went home to watch one of their favorite movies with junk food to celebrate Rory's homecoming. Rory and Lorelai sat on their couch among candy wrappers and chip bags.  
  
"Ahhh, nothing like a classic." Rory sighed.  
  
"That Willy Wonka never ceases to amaze me. And they should definitely invent that whole-meal-in-one-stick-of-gum thing."  
  
"Yea, but then we wouldn't have an excuse to go to Luke's anymore! You would become deprived of good coffee, and eventually we'd have to go back to get coffee, and we'd want a burger too. So what's the point of the gum in the first place?"  
  
"Strange logic. But true."  
  
"You've taught me well."  
  
"Interesting how you lead everything back to Luke's where some guy who makes you sweat puddles is now back and working."  
  
"THERE WAS NO PUDDLE!" Rory yelled.  
  
"There was some major puddle-age."  
  
"What is with your new puddle fixation?" Rory grumbled.  
  
"What is with your new Jess fixation?" her mother shot back.  
  
"Nothing. Because there isn't one."  
  
"Uh-huh. That's why you stopped mid-sentence to stare. And turned that lovely shade of maroon I was telling you about. Look Rory, all I'm saying is, I think it's pretty unfair to lead Dean on if you like Jess. Which I think you do. Despite the fact that I can't stand him right now, I don't want you to be unhappy with Dean for my benefit, because you're hurting him. I noticed you haven't called him yet?"  
  
"I'll call him tomorrow! I'm tired."  
  
"Tired from all those puddles you've been creating with your sweat." Rory paused and then smiled a little.  
  
"Strange logic."  
  
"You've taught me well." The two grinned sadly and sighed. Rory rose from the couch.  
  
"I think I'll go to bed. And mom?"  
  
"Yea?" "Drop the puddle-thing."  
  
"But it's so fu-"  
  
"Mom." Rory interrupted.  
  
"All right, all right. No more talk about puddles."  
  
Rory grinned, gave her mom a kiss, and shuffled to her room. Lorelai did the same, put on her pajamas, thought for a while, and gave herself away to sleep. But Rory lie awake in her clothes for hours, thinking about the kiss again. Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore. She had to go for a walk. She opened her window, threw on some shoes, and climbed out.  
  
***  
  
Rory wandered around town for about an hour, just thinking about the events of the past 2 months. Rory had thought she would have time in Washington to think about the entire dilemma, but instead she had kept busy, and used it as an escape. She and Paris had actually started getting along, and she had started to talk to Paris about it, but they never got a chance to finish the conversation, and after that there were places to visit and speeches to hear.  
  
She sighed and kept walking. She didn't know exactly why she was walking around town in the middle of the night, but the peace and quiet of the night helped her sort through her Jess-Dean decision. Little did Rory know, she was not the only one awake.  
  
***  
  
Jess was sitting on the bridge, looking into the water. After seeing Rory in the diner, the kiss between them was all he could think about. He could no longer deny the fact that he really cared about her, and he was having a hard time with that. It was hard for Jess to care. He hadn't had anyone to teach him how. But he knew he was happy she was back. He pictured her blue eyes staring straight into his, and a small smile played on his lips. Then he wondered if she even cared about him. She hadn't mentioned the kiss since it has happened.  
  
Jess ran a hand through his hair, and began chewing on the tip of the pen he was holding. He scribbled furiously on a piece of lined paper that was inside a 3-ring binder. When he was finished, he rose and headed back towards Luke's. He walked without turning, and didn't see that same piece of paper slip out of his binder and float gracefully on the wind and into the water.  
  
***  
  
Rory headed towards the bridge to sort out the rest of her thoughts. It had always been one of her favorite places, and it was definitely more special since she and Jess had eaten there. It felt like their place. As she sat down, she could almost feel his presence there with her, and despite the dark and the cold winds, she felt warm and comforted.  
  
She dangled her feet over the edge. She was sitting there enjoying the peace when she spotted a single piece of paper floating in the water. The ink was still visible. Curiously, Rory laid down on the bridge and positioned herself so she could pick it up from the water. She grabbed at just before it carelessly drifted under the bridge. She recognized Jess's handwriting. As she read, a smile lit up her eyes. She ran all the way home, waving the paper behind her.  
  
***  
  
End of chapter 1! Please send some feedback. Once I get one review, I'll post chapter 2 


	2. A Second Time

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Gilmore Girls *sighs* I don't have that kind of genius. The song on the paper is "When You Say Nothing at All" by Ronan Keating  
  
Rating: PG...later PG-13  
  
Pairing: R/J...L/L's coming up later  
  
Reviews: Thanks so much for all the feedback I received after I posted the first chapter...I'm sorry it took a few hours before I posted the second one. Forgive me if I'm not the best writer in the world :)  
  
Rory rolled over in bed, stirring a little for the first time all morning. Sun was pouring into her room, and a piece of lined paper with ragged edges stuck out a little from under her pillow. Rory smiled a little as she woke up, her hand still grasping the paper. She blinked twice and unfolded the paper again, reading the words on it over and over and letting them wash over her.  
  
For Rory:  
  
It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart  
  
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark  
  
Try as I may I can never explain  
  
What I hear when you don't say a thing  
  
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me  
  
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me  
  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall  
  
You say it best (say it best).. when you say nothing at all  
  
All day long I can hear people talking out loud  
  
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd (the crowd)  
  
Try as they may they could never define  
  
What's been said between your heart and mine  
  
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me  
  
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me  
  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall  
  
You say it best (say it best).. when you say nothing at all  
  
Rory grinned. She shook her head as many questions arose. Why would he write her the words to this song? Did he really feel that way about her? And why would he leave it floating in the water? Since when does Jess know that words to a song like that? She knew he had written it because she recognized his handwriting, but she was surprised he was being so sweet. She pushed these thoughts out of her mind, quickly changed clothes, and bounded down the stairs. She opened and closed the door behind her, the note tucked safely in her pocket.  
  
***  
  
Rory walked quickly into Luke's. She saw her mother waiting for her at a table. It didn't appear that she had made up with Luke. Lorelai looked up, seeing Rory's unusually cheerful face, and shook her head. "You look too happy, especially for this hour of the morning, and before coffee, too. What's up?" "Nothing," Rory said, smiling still. "OK, I've heard of caffeine withdrawal, but you are clearly withdrawn to the point of insanity. Why are you smiling?" "No reason really," Lorelai shook her head. "Too much sugar last night. I think you're suffering a sugar hangover. Go get yourself some coffee. Right now!"  
  
Rory pushed back her chair and walked over to the counter. As she stood, the note fell out of her back pocket and onto the floor. Not noticing, Rory went up to Luke.  
  
"Hey Luke, is Jess here?" Luke nodded curtly.  
  
"Upstairs."  
  
"Thanks," Rory said quickly, and took the stairs up two at a time. She didn't look back to see her mom pick up the note, open and read it, frown deeply, and head off quickly to work without saying goodbye.  
  
***  
  
Rory pounded loudly on the door. Jess, wearing a pair of boxers and socks, assumed it was Luke and went to get the door. He snapped it open.  
  
"I've still got another hour bef-" he started to say, and then saw Rory standing there. Rory turned bright red, but couldn't turn away. Her eyes skimmed over his muscular chest, his powerful arms, his broad shoulders. She could barely breathe. Jess studied her for a few seconds, leaning against the door frame, and then quickly shut the door.  
  
"Let me get some clothes on! Sorry about that! I thought you were Luke!" he yelled through the closed door. Rory shook her head and tried to get rid of the image so she could breathe normally, but all she could picture was Jess's bare body. She could feel her face heat up once more as Jess opened the door, clothed this time, looking straight into her eyes.  
  
"Fancy seeing you here," he remarked. "And at such a reasonable hour, too," he yawned. Rory started to thank him for the note, then shook her head. "I'll talk to you later," she whispered, and clattered quickly down the stairs, leaving Jess standing there for the second time that summer.  
  
***  
  
VERY short, I know, but the third and fourth chapters are coming sometime tonight or tomorrow. Plus, it took me forever to find a good song for the note. This story might be anywhere from 6-12 chapters all together. I'm not sure yet. In the next few chapters, you'll see what happened with the note, and Dean will come into the picture again. Sorry for the short chapter! 


	3. More Correspondence

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Damn....and the song in Rory's letter is "When I Fall in Love"  
  
Rating: PG-13 (swearing)  
  
Pairing: R/J, L/L  
  
Reviews: Thank you all for your feedback and support of the story. You all have NO idea how fabulous I felt after reading your feedback. Anyway, this is chapter #3. I know some of you might have been disappointed with the second chapter because what Jess wrote wasn't what you expected, but hopefully you'll understand as the story goes on why I chose for him to write song lyrics down about her. Anyway, L/L are about to make up, and R/J are getting closer to hooking up. Read on. :)  
  
P.S. I know Jess isn't the usual tough guy, but remember in this chapter these are his thoughts. Cmon, he can't be all tough all the time! :)  
  
Lorelai kept staring at the note all day. She had a strong instinct that Jess had written the lyrics on the note for Rory, and it scared her and made her angry all the same. She walked around the inn with her lips pursed in a straight line. She knew she was making an assumption too soon, but she had a bad feeling her instinct was right. And she didn't want her daughter to slip away. She didn't want Jess to take her.  
  
***  
  
A book rested open on Jess's stomach, but he wasn't reading. He just kept thinking about the look on Rory's face when he had opened the door. He knew he made a mistake, coming to the door in just his boxers, but the look on her face had been worth it. Jess smirked to himself.  
  
He opened up his three-ring binder, and was about to scribble something else down when he noticed that the lyrics he had written weren't in the binder. His eyes grew wide as he manically flipped through his binder several times. "Oh Shit," he thought to himself, panicking. That was the last thing in the world he needed anyone seeing. That binder was specifically for HIS thoughts, and he didn't need his own thoughts becoming the main subject during Gossip Hour for the entire town of Stars Hollow. As the sun was sinking below the horizon, he told Luke he was leaving and began to walk quickly towards the bridge, retracing his steps of the other night the entire way.  
  
***  
  
Rory was snuggled deep into the couch in the Gilmore house with The Bell Jar. Her mom had gotten home from work about 10 minutes ago, but she seemed very distracted.  
  
"Tough day, Mom?" Rory had asked.  
  
"Mmmm," Lorelai hummed, her mouth still set in a straight line. She shoved her hand deep into her pocket, feeling the note's rough edges. She frowned, then looked as if she were about to cry. "I'm going to Luke's," she said shortly. Rory frowned, too. "I thought they were fighting," she thought to herself. "I wonder what's going on." Lorelai had said a curt goodbye and slammed the door quickly behind her.  
  
Rory closed her book absently and tried to put her mother's mood out of her mind. Something had probably happened with Michel at the inn, and she just went to grab some coffee. She would be home soon. But an hour passed, and Lorelai didn't return. Rory glanced at the clock and decided she would go for a walk to get her mother. Rory scribbled something on a piece of paper, folded it haphazardly, and stuck it in her jeans' pocket.  
  
As she walked along, she watched hues of gold and orange, purple and pink, fan outward over the sky as the sun began to set. She took a detour down to the bridge and laid down, just as she had the other night. She reached into her pocket. This time, she was not picking something out of the water, but dropping something in. Rory had decided earlier that day that instead of talking to Jess about the note, she would just leave him one. It read:  
  
For Jess: When I fall in love  
  
It will be forever  
  
Or I'll never fall in love  
  
In a restless world  
  
Like this is  
  
Love is ended before it's begun  
  
And too many  
  
Moonlight kisses  
  
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun  
  
When I give my heart  
  
I give it completely  
  
Or I'll never give my heart  
  
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too  
  
Is when I fall in love  
  
She watched the water soak the paper through, and then she watched it drift very slowly over the gentle swells of the water. Rory got up and headed for Luke's, not paying attention to the sound of strong, sure, quick footsteps coming from the other direction.  
  
***  
  
Jess crunched on the path, checking the ground on either side of him. He was in a panic for that paper. He never exposed his feelings to anyone, especially not his feelings about Rory. He felt a rush of relief when he reached the bridge and saw a paper floating in the water below. The colors of the sunset stretched over the water, and Jess bent down and picked it up. But as he read it, he saw Rory's handwriting and realized immediately that Rory had found the paper and assumed he had left it there purposely, and wrote him a note, knowing he would find it.  
  
He sat on the bridge, at first feeling embarrassed knowing Rory knew how he felt about her. But as he reread the paper, he smiled as he realized what Rory was telling him. Then he felt stupid for being so happy, resumed his usual expression, and ran his hand casually and carelessly through his hair. He turned, holding the paper in his hand. But even though he pretended not to care, he felt a spreading warmth he couldn't ignore as he headed for home.  
  
***  
  
While all this was going on, Lorelai was headed into Luke's. She was the only one there. "Lorelai, I'm closing," Luke told her. Lorelai was nearly in tears. She was worried about Rory and Jess, and she missed Luke. She couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"Just get me some coffee...please." Lorelai said, her eyes watering. She looked at him, pleading silently.  
  
"Fine." Luke said gruffly. He slammed a mug on the counter, poured coffee into it, and walked away, wiping down the opposite end of the counter.  
  
"Luke?" Lorelai whispered. "I'm scared." Luke just looked at her, with a mixture of hardness and sensitivity in his eyes. "I'm scared of losing Rory to Jess. I can tell Rory is falling for him. Jess is writing notes to her. I found one today. I'm scared of her falling in love. I'm scared she'll mess up like I did. And most of all, I'm scared of losing the two people that mean the most to me. One of those people is Rory. The other is you." Lorelai looked up, a lump forming in her throat. "Why can't you forgive me?" she asked softly. Luke just looked at her, shaking his head angrily. Then he saw the tears behind her eyes. Before he knew it, he was holding Lorelai in his arms. She felt comforted and secure.  
  
"You know, we definitely shouldn't make this fighting a regular thing." She told him from against his chest with a small smile. "I miss the fight for my morning coffee...it always made the coffee taste better because it felt like I earned it. After you got mad, the whole coffee banter stopped, and the coffee didn't feel earned, so it almost didn't taste as good...and then I had to drink mediocre coffee for weeks. Ugh, it was terrible" she babbled.  
  
"Lorelai?"  
  
"Yea?"  
  
"Spare me the mindless crap, all right?" Luke said, but he was smiling a little. He looked into her eyes, and they stared, moving a little closer. Soon their mouths were inches from each other. Then, breaking the moment, Luke shook his head.  
  
"I...uhhh....gotta close up," he said gruffly, seeming a little embarrassed. He adjusted his cap.  
  
"It's ok," she replied, and even as Luke inched away, the words fell onto his lips, and they were still so close, Luke was sure he could taste her.  
  
***  
  
There you have it folks, the end of Chapter 3. Once again, thank you all SO much for the feedback. I appreciate it more than you know. Next Chapter: The Rory-Dean issue is resolved, more of R/J...next chapter will be longer than Chapters 2 and 3...and maybe some more L/L. We'll see.... 


	4. His Heart

`Disclaimer: I don't own it...once again, I'm forced to live with the fact that I don't have that kind of genius :(  
  
Rating: PG-13 (swearing)  
  
Pairing: R/J, L/L  
  
Feedback: I know I keep thanking you, but really. THANKS. I'm trying to get around and read as many stories as possible, but I've been writing, so I haven't really read as many as I would have liked to. Anyway, enjoy this chapter. I've decided I don't know exactly how long the story is going to be. We'll see. Oh, and I can't decide between mainly L/L or another R/J for my next fanfic. Give me your votes in your reviews. Thanks! :)  
  
Rory stared at the ceiling. There was only so much reading she could do at one time. She had finished The Bell Jar, and was rereading Oliver Twist, but she kept getting restless. She had a lot to think about. Rory knew one thing: Because she had left that note for Jess last night, she realized how she felt. The hardest part now, was telling two of the most meaningful people in her life what her feelings were. She sighed and rolled over to face the afternoon sun, hoping that when she did tell them, it wouldn't kill them both.  
  
***  
  
Lorelai knew what she had to do. She had to ask Rory. She had to talk to her about the note. But the whole nonkiss with Luke was distracting her a little. She didn't know what this meant. Was it just a "yay-we-made-up-now- we're-friends-moment"? Or was there something there she had never noticed? Her confusion grew, and to distract herself, she went into the kitchen to get coffee from Sookie.  
  
"Sook, can I have a cup of coffee?" Lorelai asked. Sookie laughed.  
  
"I don't think so! Wouldn't you say 8 cups is the limit? I mean, I know our coffee isn't as strong as Luke's, and you haven't been to Luke's today...but..honey, this is getting hazardous to your health!" Lorelai sighed impatiently.  
  
"Now you sound like him."  
  
Sookie smiled and studied Lorelai's worried face. "Honey, what's up? There's something going on! When you don't go to Luke's, there's something going on." Lorelai sighed heavily and paused for a minute before answering.  
  
"I don't know Sookie. This whole thing with Luke..."  
  
"Ahhh," Sookie nodded. "You guys still haven't made up? Did it finally get too uncomfortable for you guys?"  
  
"No, no...that's not it," Lorelai said.  
  
"You and Luke made up?" Sookie squealed. "When did this happen? Details please!"  
  
"Well, last night I was really upset about Rory and Jess and-"  
  
"Wait a minute," Sookie interrupted. "Rory and Jess?"  
  
"Long story."  
  
"I've got time," Sookie said. And Lorelai proceeded to tell Sookie the entire story. As Sookie listened intently, Lorelai felt a little more relaxed for the first time in 24 hours.  
  
***  
  
Jess wiped down a table absently in the diner. Neither Gilmore had been into the diner since yesterday, which was strange, but the thought of the Gilmores reminded him of Rory, and he smiled a rare smile as he thought about her. The note she had left told him that she must have some kind of feelings for him. He just hoped these feelings weren't just platonic. I mean, it didn't seem that way to Jess, but he was never one to assume. It only got him into shit he didn't want to be in, and lead to unnecessary disappointment. But as he felt the light weight of the note in his pocket, he couldn't help but think that for once in his life, he had something good. He turned to his latest customers. "What can I get you?" he asked.  
  
***  
  
"So Jess wrote them for Rory? Are you sure?" Sookie questioned, looking at Lorelai. It had been 45 minutes, and Sookie and Lorelai were still discussing the events of the past 24 hours. "It said 'For Rory' at the top," Lorelai said, sounding near tears. "Honey, maybe this won't be a bad thing! Rory will be good for him, and maybe he'll even be good for Rory."  
  
"Now you definitely sound like Luke. Maybe you should have married him instead of Jackson," Lorelai mumbled.  
  
"C'mon Lorelai, I'm serious. Give it a chance. You're getting yourself all worked up for nothing."  
  
"Maybe," Lorelai said. "I just hate the fact that she didn't tell me all this."  
  
"Maybe she'll tell you tonight. I think it sounds like the two of you are due for your own heart-to-heart."  
  
Lorelai sighed and looked at Sookie gratefully. "Thanks, Sook."  
  
"No problem. But Lorelai? Remember what I said about Luke, ok?"  
  
Lorelai just shook her head at Sookie. "Are you sure it isn't you who's been having too many cups of coffee?" she asked, smiling. Sookie gave her a look that plainly said, "I'm serious!" and turned around.  
  
"I've got soups to cook here!"  
  
"Ok, ok, I get the hint. Besides, it's so hot in this kitchen. And I'm sure Michel is-"  
  
Just as she said this, Michel burst through the double doors. "I know I'm supposed to be the 'manager' but this is absurd! I cannot 'manage' both of our jobs!" Sookie laughed as Michel stormed out of the kitchen, Lorelai close behind.  
  
***  
  
Rory finally decided that she couldn't lie still anymore. She had to go out and do something. Hauling herself off the bed, she had a feeling of dread in her stomach that she couldn't get rid of. But she ignored it and headed out of her house and towards Dean's. She hadn't seen him since she had gotten back, and she knew she would have hell to pay. Not only that, she had to tell Dean about Jess. Rory had finally realized the difference between platonic love, and something real. She could no longer ignore the fact that Dean was not giving her what she needed. And she didn't know exactly what she needed, but she knew that whatever it was, Jess was giving her, in their relationship, things that Dean couldn't.  
  
About halfway to Dean's house, she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. She spun around and found herself face-to-face with Dean.  
  
"Hey stranger...where've you been?" he asked, with a cheery tone that, to Rory, who knew him well, sounded forced.  
  
"I've just been too busy-"  
  
"Too busy what? Thinking about Jess? Hanging out with everyone in the town except for me? Avoiding me at all costs?" Dean spewed. Rory looked at him, surprised, and a little hurt. Dean almost never blew up like this. "Except," Rory thought. "When the situation involves Jess." Rory sighed and looked at Dean in the eyes. She felt the dread consume her because of what she knew had to be said.  
  
"Look Dean, please-" Rory started.  
  
"No....I don't need this. You don't even have to say anything," Dean said sharply.  
  
"No Dean, it's-"  
  
"Rory, please...it's over. I get it," he told her, in a barely audible whisper. And with that, Dean turned and walked briskly in the other direction.  
  
Rory stood for a moment, hurt at the loss of the happiness they used to have. But as she waited for the tears to come, she remembered one of her favorite quotes: "Tears are words the heart can't say." Rory realized why those tears would never come. In her heart, Rory knew that she no words left to say. Because everything she had planned on saying, Dean had said it for her. And as much as she felt bad about breaking Dean's heart, she knew it was necessary, because she felt a huge burden lift off her own.  
  
***  
  
Sorry, no L/L or R/J in this chapter. But I needed to bring closure with the whole Dean situation. I'm trying not to keep you guys waiting too much longer. Next chapter or the following, there WILL be some better R/J stuff. I don't know about L/L yet. Anyway, the next chapter should be up as soon as I finish it, which should be within the next couple of hours. I'm sorry this chapter was a little shorter than expected. Luv u all! :) 


	5. Sun Rising

Disclaimer: Nothing's changed over the last few hours  
  
Rating:  
  
Pairing: R/J  
  
Author's Notes: You all know what I'm going to say. It's becoming a ritual. Oh well. Here it goes. THANKS for the feedback. I love knowing what you think, and it makes my day when the feedback is positive ;) Anyway, I don't know where this fic is going. On the one hand, I hate to post chapters every few hours, because before I know it, the fic will be over. On the other hand, I'm getting to like writing more and more...I can't stay away ;) What I do know is this: Here's the next chapter. It's mostly Rory and Lorelai stuff, but I PROMISE, that the end is R/J. Next chapter is R/J based.  
  
Rory wrung her hands nervously, waiting for her mom to come home. She'd had two hours after her break-up with Dean to think, and she knew she should talk to her mom. They were long overdue for a talk, and the less they talked, the more her mom assumed. She didn't want her mom assuming anything before she told her. Besides, Lorelai had been acting strange for a little while now. She needed to know what was going on.  
  
Rory felt like she should be more upset over the break-up, but she couldn't bring herself to be upset. The more she thought about it, the more she thought it was a step in the right direction. She sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time since she had gotten home. After this talk with her mom was over, she could go back to wondering about Jess and thinking about him whenever she wanted. Rory shook her head, not wanting to admit she was thinking about him so much. She'd never been so lovesick over someone before. It didn't help that the image of Jess standing is his boxers was permanently in her mind. The problem was, she was still so embarrassed, both about seeing him practically naked, and about what she thought the outcome of her leaving the note could be, that she couldn't bring herself to go and see him. "What if he didn't even mean for me to find that note? What if he meant it in a friendly way?" Rory mused out loud. "What if-" Rory began in her mind, but then she stopped herself.  
  
She walked over to the window, and watched grey clouds roll across the sky and block the deep blue that had been painted there just an hour ago. And as Rory wrung her hands some more, small water droplets began to collect on the windowpane.  
  
***  
  
Lorelai shifted her car into gear, preparing to ask Rory about the note. She drove home nervously, watched rain splatter her windshield. The rain fell slow at first, and then developed into a quick downpour. As she reached the house, she saw Rory looking out the window, watching the rain. Then, seeing the car, her head disappeared. Lorelai paused for a minute, not wanting to face the rain, then ran quickly from the car to the front door, where Rory was patiently waiting.  
  
"Hey, Mom," Rory said, sounding nervous.  
  
"Hey Rory," she answered. They both looked at each other. "We need to talk." they said simultaneously. Rory smiled.  
  
"Great minds think alike,"  
  
"Or crazy minds," Lorelai mumbled in response. They both plopped down on the couch. "So what's going on with you?" Lorelai asked, hoping Rory would tell her about the note. Rory thought for a minute.  
  
"I broke up with Dean," she said softly.  
  
"Are you OK?" Lorelai asked. She was immediately concerned, not only for her daughter's feelings, but because she had a bad feeling she knew why the breakup happened. Rory watched the rain. "Surprisingly, yes," she said, thinking of Jess. "It was Jess, wasn't it?" her mom whispered. Rory looked at her mother with shining blue eyes. She knew if she denied it, it would upset her mother. She had a feeling Lorelai was starting to pick up on the whole Jess thing. She slowly nodded, and her mother studied her sadly.  
  
"Look Rory, just let me talk, OK? No interrupting until I'm at least 5 seconds in. I trust you. I don't trust him. I might not for a long time. But I know he makes you happy. That morning you were suffering from temporary insanity, and it was early, and you were smiling and acting like a morning person? (Ugh, morning people) I found the note. I know he cares for you. I know you care for him. I can't deny this anymore. I don't want to cause any more problems for you, or for me and Luke. I'm going to try and accept the choice you've obviously already made, and give him the benefit of the doubt. But forgive me if it takes me a while to get used to this. I don't know long it will take. But I can try to be OK with this, as long as you can be honest with me. It's another vital part to keeping the whole 'cool-mom-clause'."  
  
Rory just looked at her mom for a second. Then a smile spread across her face, and she reached out to hug Lorelai. They sat there for a few minutes, holding their lives in each other's arms.  
  
"Never let me go without giving me juicy details like this ever again! You know gossip is a necessary part of life," Lorelai scolded her daughter. Rory looked serious again.  
  
"Do want to hear something really juicy?" Rory asked. Lorelai just looked at Rory, waiting, seeing the tension in her daughter's wide blue eyes. "I kissed Jess at the wedding," she whispered.  
  
"Whoa, whoa. You kissed Jess at the wedding? As in, YOU kissed HIM? When you came with Dean? You've been keeping this from me all this time?" Rory looked at her mom's hurt face. A silence hung in the air, and Lorelai's voice quickly shattered it.  
  
"Rory! This is not a secret you should keep from me! Secrets you keep from me are, I shave my hairy toes, or, I...eat my belly button lint. Kissing JESS at the wedding? Not a secret to keep! To top it all off...YOU KISSED HIM?"  
  
"Mom, it was not that big of a deal, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. It was just...one of those...heat of the moment things. I didn't mean to! And I didn't want to tell anyone because I knew how much it would complicate things."  
  
"Well, it's funny how you've complicated things even more by NOT telling me," she said, started to rise.  
  
"MOM!" Rory exclaimed.  
  
"I'm sorry, I can't talk right now. Come get me in an hour or so if you still feel like talking." Rory watched helplessly as Lorelai walked upstairs, then slammed her bedroom door behind her.  
  
***  
  
An hour later, Rory dug in their cupboards and in drawers in the kitchen. She found a Snickers bar from a week ago in the freezer, and took it up with her to her mom's bedroom.  
  
"Mom?" Rory called, knocking on the door.  
  
"Rory, not now," her mom said.  
  
"C'mon, I've got chocolate."  
  
"I've taught you too well," Lorelai said with a tiny smile. "Come in." The two Gilmores looked at each other. Lorelai patted the spot next to her on the bed. "Sit. And bring the candy with you," she ordered. "I've got a story to tell you." Rory broke the candy bar in half, handed one half to her mom, and motioned for her to go on.  
  
"When I was your age, I had a Jess of my own, whom you now know as your father. I messed up, got pregnant. Then I had you, one of the most gorgeous and least smelly babies on the planet. I vowed that when my daughter grew up, I would never let her mess up like me. I would never let her find a Chris. And now, Jess reminds me so much of Chris, that I'm scared of what might happen." Lorelai paused. "But I trusted you, and I believed if I knew EVERYTHING about you, I could control what was going on. So that's why finding out about that kiss scared me. Because I know that when you find a cute guy who likes you, stuff can happen. I want to try and prevent that stuff from happening. Now I'm realizing I can't, because I can't always know everything. It's up to you to be responsible, kid." Rory looked at her mom.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mom."  
  
"I know you are, honey." Lorelai heaved a sigh and leaned forward on her elbows.  
  
"So," she said smirking a little, "Was the kiss...good?"  
  
Rory blushed a fiery red and smacked her mom with a pillow. "Don't be gross!"  
  
"It was. You loved it. You daydr-" "Mom!"  
  
And the two laughed for hours, talking about Jess, Luke, Washington, and anything else they could possibly think to catch up on. Finally, they both went to bed, feeling light-hearted. And as Rory slept, she began to dream her usual dream about the kiss. There was comfort in consistency.  
  
***  
  
The next morning, the rain had stopped, leaving nothing behind but a layer of dew on the grass. The clouds lolled lazily across the sky, and the two Gilmores headed for Luke's for the first time in 36 hours. Jess was at the counter serving customers. Lorelai grabbed a table and the two plopped down drowsily, waiting for Luke or Jess to serve them their coffee. Rory looked tired, but content. Lorelai rested her head on her elbow and tried to stay awake. Rory had insisted on coming for coffee early. Not to mention the fact that their argument and gossip sessions from the previous night had left both of them drained. Jess reached the table first.  
  
"Aren't we chipper this morning," he remarked. He poured each of them a steaming cup of coffee. "Thanks," they both said, Lorelai more tightly, but being civil all the same. Jess nodded and started to walk away. Then he smirked at Rory.  
  
"Enjoyed the view so much the other morning you decided to come back for more?" he teased, whispering huskily, his hot breath on the shell of her ear. The tips of her ears turned pink. Lorelai, who was drinking her coffee, appeared not to notice as her daughter once again caught her breath. Every time she was close to him, she remembered the kiss, and never ceased to wonder how she had been able to breathe at all after that.  
  
Rory finally found her voice, following him to the counter. "The sunrise, you mean? Yea...it was gorgeous," she told him innocently. She went back to her table. "The colors and everything? It was great." Jess put on his trademark smirk and was unable to wipe it off for the rest of the morning.  
  
***  
  
The end of Chapter 5. Next chapter is all R/J fluff about the note, and that's a promise. I know some of you are getting impatient. This fanfic might go on for a little longer than I expected. I have some more ideas about how to extend the plot without drowning you all in fluff. I know this Chapter wasn't the most exciting, but I wanted to make sure Rory and Lorelai talked before I went anywhere with this. Anyway, the next 2 chapters are coming throughout the day tomorrow. 


	6. Mistakes

Disclaimer: *sigh* I'm not that smart, so no, except for this plot, nothing is mine.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairing: R/J  
  
Author's Notes: I was building on an idea I had, and I wasn't sure how it would work. Then TheBestDeceptions told me I should incorporate Dean into it somehow, and then I combined the two ideas. So thanks to TheBestDeceptions, and here's the next chapter. Enjoy :)  
  
Rory smiled to herself. She was sitting on the porch outside her house, watching the sunrise, and thinking of Jess. Her radio played softly in the background. She watched as the sun slowly disappeared. When hues of pink and purple shimmered in the sky, and the sun was about halfway below the horizon, a song came on the radio. Strongly reminded of Jess, she knew where she needed to be.  
  
Her eyes sparkled as she walked along. She reached the bridge, thinking this was becoming routine. Enjoying the glittering colors on the ripples of the water and the dimness in the small cove of trees, she slowly sat down on the edge of the bridge, strongly reminded of the first time she and Jess had come here together. Laughing, she remembered Jess's face as she he took a bite of what had been in her picnic basket that day. She knew she should get home, but decided against it. Her mom was running late at work, and she had time. She wanted to see him. She waited, knowing in her heart that eventually, he would come.  
  
***  
  
Jess needed to see her. He wanted to talk. He needed to know where she stood. He knew she was probably still with Frankenstein's Monster, but he felt something there. She was the only one he cared about. If he didn't find out how she felt now, he might never know. He put Ernest Hemingway down on his bed.  
  
"Luke?" he called. "I'm going out." He got no response, shrugged, and left the diner. Seeing the sunset made him smirk at the memory of that morning. If nothing else, he knew Rory was attracted to him. The fact that she turned a fiery red and stared when he came to the door proved that much.  
  
As he approached the bridge, he suddenly felt an impulse to go. He thought maybe she would be there. His eyes smiled when he saw her sitting there, dangling her feet over the edge, staring off into space. As he walked onto the bridge, she turned and saw him, and smiled a little. Jess stared at her for a minute, analyzing the situation. Then he sat down next to her, his legs dangling inches from hers.  
  
"Enjoyed the sunrise so much, you decided to watch the sunset, too?" he asked with a tiny smirk.  
  
"I always enjoy the sunrise. Every morning." She told him warily.  
  
"Oh really? So I look that good all the time?" he asked, smirking even bigger.  
  
"That's....I didn't mean.......UGH, you're such an ass." She told him, but she was smiling. Jess pretended to gasp.  
  
"I'm disappointed in you Rory," he told her, shaking his head. "I would have expected better. Language like that?"  
  
"Will you shut up? You're disturbing the peace."  
  
"Well, since you asked so nicely..."  
  
She gave him a withering look. Jess pretended to gasp again.  
  
"Was that? Did I just see? Yes...I believe that was the patented 'Rory- Gilmore's-withering-stare."  
  
"It was not!"  
  
"Oh, I some major withering stare-age."  
  
"No that was the Rory Gilmore 'shut-up-or-die' stare. Can't you tell the difference? Now it's my turn to be disappointed in you."  
  
They glanced at each other for what seemed like an hour. Their mouths were coming closer and closer together. Jess paused for a minute.  
  
"So," he whispered, practically in her mouth. "You gonna run after we kiss again? Or do you want to try jumping in the lake this time?"  
  
Rory couldn't answer. She felt dizzy and light-headed. She could smell his cologne, felt his hand coming up to cup her chin. His fingers gently caressed her face, sending waves of electricity down her body. She shivered. Jess leaned in a tiny bit more, feeling overwhelmed by being next to her again. Just as their lips were about to touch, she heard someone run from behind the trees. She snapped her head to see Dean's retreating back. "Oh no." she groaned. Suddenly, not knowing why, she got up, feeling the need to explain to him. As she walked away, she called to Jess she'd be back in a minute. She didn't turn to see the obvious hurt written on Jess's face, hidden in his eyes. He immediately assumed they were still together, and as he watched her walk away, he decided maybe it was time for him to walk too.  
  
***  
  
Rory hated to leave Jess and the almost-kiss behind, and she didn't know why she was bothering to even run after Dean. She realized that maybe this had all been a mistake. Maybe she really did still care for Dean. Maybe she shouldn't have done it. She ran to catch up.  
  
"What the hell were you doing?" she asked softly.  
  
"Confirming what I was pretty sure was going on in the first place," he spat.  
  
"Look, Dean, I..."  
  
"Rory," he interrupted, more softly. "I still care for you. He's no good for you. I'm sorry I blew up the other day. I was angry because you spoke to me before you spoke to him when you got home. Then I jumped to conclusions when you came to see me. I thought you were breaking up with me. Then I realized I didn't even let you say anything, or explain. I'm sorry. Just...give me a chance."  
  
She just stared at him. Now she was having second thoughts. She knew she was physically attracted to Jess, but what if she was making the wrong choice? What if something went wrong? Dean leaned down to kiss her. Gently, she pulled away. "I need time to think." She told him, barely audible. And Dean watched helplessly as Rory ran home.  
  
***  
  
Rory lay sprawled on her mother's bed, explaining to her mom what had happened. 'I don't know what to do!" Rory whined. "I mean, I thought I was totally OK without Dean, and then I saw him there, and I felt guilty...and then I felt like this whole thing shouldn't have happened. I was worried that I was making the wrong choice."  
  
"Honey, as much as I would love for you to choose Dean over Jess here, it's kind of obvious that you don't belong with him."  
  
"Why do you say that?" Rory asked, sounding a little annoyed as she sat up straight. She didn't like to think that she was that transparent.  
  
"OK, let's review the facts here. You kissed Jess. You thought it was amazing. You come home. You want Jess. You and Dean split, and I haven't seen a tear yet. Then you are about to kiss Jess, and all of a sudden you want Dean back? Now I'm confused."  
  
"I don't want him back, exactly...I just...."  
  
"You're scared."  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"You care so much for Jess, you're running back to Dean, because you're afraid if he doesn't care that much for you, you'll never be able to get over it."  
  
Rory just stared. "That's ridiculous."  
  
"Maybe, but you're known to be ridiculous sometimes. Like when you were a temporary morning person, or when you didn't want any candy that one time...or the time-"  
  
"Ok, I get the point. But do you really think that's it?"  
  
Lorelai stared at her daughter, and her heart sank a little as she whispered sharply, "I know."  
  
***  
  
Rory's mother's words rang over and over again in her mind. She didn't know. She was still attracted to Dean. She loved him. She was having trouble deciding if it was simply platonic, but she did. But Jess...she was very attracted to him, and she knew they had a lot in common. She couldn't admit that she needed him, because she was...afraid. Her heart sank as she realized her mom might be right. She sighed. She didn't know. As she sleepily rolled over on her bed, she glanced out her open window, looking at the stars as she gave herself away to sleep.  
  
***  
  
Jess sat on his bed, sulking. "It figures," he thought to himself. "I should never have assumed. It's dangerous." He took a long drag on his cigarette. He didn't understand. Why did she leave him the note? Why did she bother if she still had feelings for Dean? Why did she run again? "Whatever," he thought. He ignored his feelings and convinced himself he didn't care. She would come in for coffee tomorrow, and it would be just as it had always been. The kiss was a mistake.  
  
Jess rolled over, put his cigarette out, and stared out his open window. The tip of his cigarette still glowed with a few fiery embers, matching the stars in the sky.  
  
***  
  
The Gilmores headed to Luke's for coffee, Rory with a feeling of dread in her stomach. She felt terrible for leaving Jess. At the same time, she was scared. Scared that her mother was right, scared that Jess would never forgive her, and scared, at the same time, that he would.  
  
The bell above the door chimed, just as it had every morning prior. Lorelai and Rory sat at the counter. Luke came over. "Coffee please!" Lorelai commanded.  
  
"Of course," Luke said gruffly. He poured Rory a cup and walked away.  
  
"Luke! C'mon! You know how I get without caffeine! I don't want to scare your customers away!" Luke just smirked.  
  
"LUKE!" she whined. The bantering between the two continued. Rory shook her head and looked around for Jess. Luke interrupted their bantering.  
  
"He's upstairs." As soon as Rory heard this, she ran upstairs. As soon as Lorelai heard this, she went back to pouting and whining.  
  
"I'll do anything!" she cried.  
  
Rory knocked on the door. "It's Rory!" she called. No one answered. She ignored this and barged in. "Jess?" she called.  
  
"What," Which was more a statement than a question. Jess was lying on his bed, reading Hemingway.  
  
"Jess, I didn't mean to walk out on you yesterday."  
  
"Huh. And yet...you did."  
  
"Jess, I just..."  
  
"Suddenly realized cheating on your boyfriend wasn't for you?"  
  
Rory looked surprised. "We broke up. I thought you would know," she told him haughtily.  
  
"Right, because I'm so interested." Jess remarked icily, his words dripping with sarcasm. Rory just stared at him. Jess immediately knew he had gone too far. Tears gathered behind Rory's eyes, but she bit her lip, infuriated.  
  
"Just....forget it," she said.  
  
"Done." Jess replied casually. He immediately felt a guilt he knew he wouldn't be able to live with. And as Rory walked out, he heard the door click shut behind her, and he put his head in his hands.  
  
"Shit."  
  
***  
  
The end of chapter 6...I KNOW! I promised fluff....but the idea I had interrupted the fluff. I'll get there, next chapter. You know, I really should stop making all these promises. I never keep them. Eh. But I promise I'll keep this one. Pinky-swear. Really. 


	7. What They Need

Disclaimer: Same old story that everybody knows.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairing: R/J  
  
Author's Note: I know this chapter took a little longer than usual, for those of you who read this story regularly, but I was trying to read some other fics for a change. Thanks, as usual, for the feedback! :-) Keep it coming. No prob, TheBestDeceptions...I owed it to you ;-)  
  
It took all of Rory's will power to be able to sit through an entire round of coffee with her mother after her disastrous apology to Jess without breaking into tears. She heard Jess's voice echoing in her mind: "Right, because I'm so interested." She could still hear the sarcasm in his voice. She knew this was all a mistake. This was what she had been afraid of in the first place. Lorelai babbled with Luke for a while, and then noticed Rory's crestfallen expression.  
  
"Coffee's that bad, huh?"  
  
"What? Oh...I'm fine."  
  
"Huh." Lorelai stared at her daughter's face again, and decided to let it rest. She would talk to her about it later.  
  
Rory stirred her coffee, and drank the last of the liquid in her mug. "I'll see you later mom." She mumbled. Lorelai was about to make a joke, but decided against it.  
  
"Yup. Bye hon. Love ya."  
  
Rory walked out into an unusually cold day for the end of August. The clouds blocked the sun, chilling the air even more and adding a darkness to the air around her.  
  
***  
  
Jess watched from the window as Rory walked slowly down the street. He wasn't usually the type to feel guilty, but watching her and knowing he caused the new sadness written on her face made him feel like a terrible person. He knew he had really messed this one up. He blanched as he remembered the sarcasm in his comments, when all she was trying to do was be sincere.  
  
At the same time, he felt angry because he felt like he had been rejected by her. And for Bag Boy, nonetheless. He remembered the attraction between them, that look in her eyes before they almost kissed... but then he remembered the immediate sting he felt when she left him sitting there again. "Too bad they aren't joking when they say 'History Repeats Itself'" he mumbled. He couldn't figure out what he meant to her, and the more he tried, the more confused he became.  
  
Through it all, Rory remained the one person who he knew he cared about, and who he wasn't sure he could be without. The thing was, he knew if he didn't fix this, chances were, they might not ever speak again. The scariest thing to Jess was that he didn't know how.  
  
***  
  
Rory sat in the gazebo with a stack of books just before twilight. She liked this time of day best. She had decided to avoid the bridge for the night. She didn't want to think about the fact that she thought she'd lost two guys over a 24-hour-period, and going to the bridge would only bring up memories of the notes, and Jess, and the kiss she wished had materialized, and Dean running away. She simply wanted to sit in the peace of semi- darkness, and read until she could no longer see the words on the page.  
  
As she sprawled on the bench and opened the top book on the stack, she realized all her favorite books she had brought were somehow connected with Jess. She fidgeted a bit and tried to look past this detail, but everytime she read a paragraph, something in it reminded her of the entire dilemma she had gotten herself into. Then she realized, having a thought only a Gilmore would have, that there was one thing that might help her forget. Coffee. Leaving the open book's pages to flutter in the slightly chilly breeze of dusk, she walked methodically to Luke's, one foot in front of the other. What she didn't admit to herself, was that it wasn't coffee she needed.  
  
***  
  
Jess saw her walking through the door, in sort of a trance. Thoughts swirled around in his brain, intertwining and linked to each other. He remembered almost kissing her, until the moment slipped through his fingers. She was running for Dean. Their argument that morning, that still made him cringe inwardly. And then he remembered how it all used to be. He watched her walk toward him, carrying the same innocence she always did. He tried to wipe away the thought in his mind, and he resumed his usual expression.  
  
***  
  
"Coffee?" she asked him. He simply nodded, turned to get the pot, and poured her a cup. Neither of them really knew what to say. Rory held the cup in trembling hands. Jess tried not to look at her, for fear that he might lose control and either kiss her, grab her and hug her, or yell at her for leaving him standing alone, on the bridge and at the wedding both. Rory noticed he was trying to avoid her gaze, and took this to mean he was angry with her. He pulled out a rag and grabbed a plate that was on the counter next to her, dipping close to her as he did so. He turned and looked at her as if he was about to say something, and then closed his mouth again.  
  
Silence hung in the air like a dense fog, hanging over their heads. 'I'm sorry' was on the very tip of both their tongues, but neither knew if it was the right thing to say, or if it was really them that should be apologizing first. Rory sipped her coffee slowly. Jess wiped down the counter in a daze. And as awkward as the silence between them was, it was almost comfortable.  
  
Sighing, Rory finished her coffee and rose slowly from her stool. She didn't know why, but neither of them could say what they felt, and now she realized there was no point in staying. She stared at his back one last time, admiring his broad shoulders, and his strong but lean shape under his shirt as he worked. Something familiar coursed through her veins. She stopped for a minute, staring. Jess turned and noticed.  
  
"That was un-Rory-like." He mumbled with a half smile.  
  
"Huh?" she asked, snapping out of her daze. He didn't answer. He shuffled his feet a little and went back to working.  
  
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, so quietly, Rory thought she imagined it.  
  
"Me too." She said. And that was all. No explanation. They didn't need it, really.  
  
"Now, what was un-Rory-like?"  
  
"You were staring."  
  
"Was not."  
  
"I think so."  
  
"You're imagining."  
  
"If you say so," he said with a smirk.  
  
Rory wandered behind the counter. "Maybe a little." She whispered. Jess grinned, a genuine smile. "That's nothing new." He told her cockily. She ignored this comment and grabbed a rag. "Need help?" She asked. She began to scrub the counter, afraid if she looked at him, she would lose herself all over again. She was blushing. When she was around him, it was becoming routine. She rubbed at a non-existent coffee stain on the counter. Jess simply watched. Rory stood up, tired of scrubbing, and backed directly into him.  
  
"Sorry." She whispered, and turned so she was facing him. She forced herself to look into his eyes. She smelled the now familiar smell, a woodsy, sweet scent, and was all too aware of his hands sliding to her hips. She felt so hot, she thought she might faint. As she looked into his eyes, she felt herself melt. Jess looked down at her, his gaze unusually gentle. Jess needed her. He didn't know if he could control himself, being so close to her. Jess brought his hand up to her cheek, and trailed it down to her neck. Rory's skin burned from where he touched her. Finally, Jess cupped her chin with his rough fingers, giving her time to pull away. "This is a test," he told himself. "I can finally figure out how she feels. If she pulls away again, I'll leave it alone." But Rory just looked deep into his eyes. He guided her mouth to his.  
  
Rory kissed him softly, her hands rubbing his back and neck, Jess's sliding over her hips. Jess's lips were soft and slightly salty. Jess gently guided her jaw to open it, tracing her teeth with his tongue. Rory concentrated on the feeling of her mouth on his, and the heat in her body. Jess pulled her closer. He felt their bodies touch completely, and he had to keep himself from pressing her even closer. As they kissed, Jess realized how she felt. And Rory had one last thought before she totally gave herself over to the moment. That coffee wasn't what she came for after all.  
  
***  
  
The end...until next chapter ;-) 


	8. While We Were Sleeping

Disclaimer: Not mine. The disappointment never ceases.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairing: R/J, a little L/L is this chapter  
  
Author's Notes: I know! I know! I was so slow with this chapter. But with everything's that's going on, it's hard to keep up with the fanfic too. Anyway, I don't know how much more of a story there will be. There could be a few more chapters, or there could be 10 more. I don't know. And I won't know till it's over. Just letting you know :)  
  
The semi-light of dusk slipped away into the black of that night. Stars twinkled and shimmered in the sky, some patches blocked by clouds. Rory and Jess were still in the diner. After about 15 minutes of kissing him, Rory had retreated to a bar stool, tired of standing. Jess had quickly followed her, choosing the one next to her. She knew she shouldn't be here so late, but she ignored the pangs of guilt, and they were quickly drowned as Jess leaned in to kiss her once more. Kissing a guy for longer than 10 minutes was unusual for Rory, but she knew that this wasn't the only thing their relationship was based on, and as long as Rory knew that, she was content to kiss him. Rory lost herself in his faint scent, the feel of their bodies together, and his hands slowly and softly running up and down her sides. She shivered.  
  
Jess and Rory both slipped off their bar stools and onto the floor behind the counter, never breaking lip contact. Jess backed himself up against the wall, half lying down and hauled Rory on top of him. Jess pressed her closer and deepened their kiss, and Rory whimpered at such close contact to him. She felt a fiery heat spread through her veins.  
  
Meanwhile, Luke was coming back downstairs to clean up. He was about to walk out when he spotted the two kissing. Stumbling, he was about to break them up, but he knew that Rory would be embarrassed, and if he did so, he would have to tell Lorelai. And he didn't want that weight riding on his shoulders. "I did not see this." He told himself silently. He shook his head a little and sighed, but as he spun around to walk back upstairs quietly, a hint of a smile began to dance on the corners of his face.  
  
***  
  
Finally, the couple broke apart after one last time, both out of breath. Rory placed her head on Jess's chest, and Jess looked down at her, his second genuine smile of the night on his face. His gaze was soft as he saw a smile light up Rory's face as she shut her eyes. He sat there for a while, listening to her breathe. He shut his eyes too, still smiling.  
  
"Jess?" she whispered softly.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Will you read 'The Fountainhead' now?" she questioned with a grin. Jess smirked.  
  
"Only if you read some more Hemingway."  
  
"Only if you kiss me again."  
  
"As you wish."  
  
He leaned down, gave her a long, gentle kiss, and let her rest against his chest again. And as he listened to her breathing once more, feeling the heat against his chest, he began to drift off, dreaming. And then he fell asleep, Rory's now measured breathing in tandem with his own.  
  
***  
  
Click. Click. Click. Lorelai tapped her fingernails against the table in the living room. She had been waiting for Rory since 8:00, and it was now 11:30. Lorelai rose and began to pace nervously. Wringing her hands, she glanced out the window for the thousandth time that hour, waiting for Rory to walk down the driveway. But Rory never did.  
  
Lorelai tried to think of all the places she could be. She sank back down on the couch, shifting. When she realized she was running out of ideas, she panicked. Sighing anxiously, she rested her head against the back of the couch. She waited for the phone to ring, or the door to swing open. But it neither ever did. And after another hour, she felt helpless. A single tear began to trace it's way down her cheek, leaving a streak behind it.  
  
***  
  
At 1:00, she wasn't waiting anymore. Something bad had happened. She knew. Lorelai snatched up the telephone receiver and called the one person she knew would help her.  
  
"Luke?" Lorelai asked when he picked up the phone. She was sniffling, her voice thick with tears. "Lorelai?" Luke asked sleepily. He woke up quickly when he heard her tone of voice. "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice dripping with concern.  
  
"It's...it's Rory," she choked out.  
  
"Rory?" he asked, confused. Then he realized. Rory had never gone home. "Aw geez," he mumbled out loud. "Lorelai?" he said sighing, knowing she was about to get even more upset. "I think she's here."  
  
"What do you mean she's there? You THINK? Where is she? Why is she at the- Oh." Lorelai said, silenced in shock, thinking of her daughter and Jess. Luke ran downstairs, seeing Rory lying on top of Jess, Jess's hand protectively slung over her shoulder as they both slept.  
  
"Lorelai? They're sleeping. Do want to come get her in the morning?" Luke asked.  
  
"They're sleeping? THEY? TOGETHER?" Lorelai screeched.  
  
"Calm down. They're sleeping, that's all." Luke told her. Lorelai was barely listening. She had her own ideas of exactly what was going on.  
  
"You know what?" Lorelai said, her anger rising. "I'll just get her in the morning. And I'm going to bed now. It's going to be an ugly morning for the both of us!" she ranted loudly.  
  
"Lorelai, please. It's fine. They were probably k-" Luke paused for a minute, "Talking," he amended. "And then they fell asleep! Try not to flip out over nothing, all right? I'll talk to you in the morning."  
  
"Yup, thanks, bye." Lorelai said icily, slamming the phone on it's receiver.  
  
Lorelai stormed up the stairs to bed, full of rage at Jess, Rory, AND Luke all at once. She couldn't believe Rory would do this. And she couldn't believe Jess. He was going to get her pregnant. And LUKE! Letting this all happen after she told him how afraid she was. She crawled into bed without even changing her clothes. Her anger ebbed away, though, as the tears came for real.  
  
***  
  
That's all for now...until next chapter, that is ;) Please keep the feedback coming. 


	9. Come Quietly

Disclaimer: You know the score.  
  
Pairing: R/J  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Author's Note: The chapters aren't going to be coming as frequently now, because I have lots going on for the next couple of weeks with school stuff and dance classes, and because I'm working on an idea for my next story. I'm not sure if I should stick with R/J or go with L/L, my other favorite pairing ;-). Anyway, the chapters are only going to come every couple of days, rather than 1 or 2 per day like it was in the beginning. I'm sort of losing a little inspiration, so it takes me longer. Anyway, enough rambling...next chapter:  
  
***  
  
Rory shifted in position against Jess's chest. Her eyelashes fluttered as she blinked and tried to open her eyes in the bright light. She shifted and groped for her pillow, but instead felt Jess's face under her hands. She awoke with a start. Jess began to stir and woke up as well.  
  
"What's going on?" he mumbled groggily, his words running together. He tried to sit up. "What are you doing here?" And then, he realized what had happened. They glanced at each other.  
  
"Oh God," Rory breathed.  
  
"Did you have a good sleep? You realize my chest isn't usually mistaken for a pillow, so I'm interested to know."  
  
"Well, thanks for your brilliant observation, Sherlock."  
  
"Does that mean you get to be Holmes?"  
  
"Jess! This is bad! This is very bad! This is a bad of monumental proportions! When my mom finds out..."  
  
"You know, they say breathing can be good, especially in a crisis."  
  
"If Luke saw us...I never went home...My mom probably called...what if she? What if Luke? Oh my God."  
  
"You wanna finish your thought, or am I supposed to fill in the blanks?"  
  
"Jess!"  
  
"Ok, ok. Why don't you just go home now?"  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"Well, seeing as how the sun hasn't fully risen yet, I can venture a guess your mom won't be awake. Then again, it's not like you can keep it from her."  
  
The truth of Jess's last few words resonated in Rory's mind. Rory sighed. "Look, we'll talk later, OK? Right now I have to go." She hauled herself to her feet, her body still somewhat sleepy, even with her mind on overdrive. Rubbing her eyes, she started for the door. She glanced back at Jess once more. "I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Falling asleep. This is going to be hell for you now."  
  
"Hey, it's no big deal. I fell asleep too. I'm just sorry things got so boring." He flashed her a grin, making her echo-smile.  
  
"Jess?"  
  
He waited.  
  
"I had fun last night," she admitted, grinning.  
  
"I knew you would. I'm difficult to resist."  
  
Rory rolled her eyes. Jess smirked back at her. Both expressions then changed to mirror each other in genuine smiles. Rory stood for a minute, then remembered where she had to go. With one last tiny wave of her hand, she walked outside, slamming the door behind her. The bell echoed in the diner, bouncing off the walls for a few minutes. A trace of the smile still threatened on the corner of Jess's mouth. Then the echo was replaced with footsteps, quick and heavy, down the stairs.  
  
***  
  
Rory crept quietly and quickly home in the clothes she had worn last night. She realized how this looked, and she wanted to be sure she got home before anyone that happened to be awake at this hour made any wrong assumptions. As she passed the gazebo, she recognized the stack of book she had left there and quickly ran over to grab them. Frantically piling books on top of each other, she finally got them all in one stack. Hands shaking, she picked up the books and walked the rest of the way home, taking the long route to avoid Ms. Patty's.  
  
As she reached her house, her footsteps became slow and unsure. She sighed anxiously as she reached the front door. Turning the knob, she groaned as she realized that she was locked out. Her spare key was in her room. Her mother didn't always lock the door, but this particular morning, she had. Rory wondered if it had been on purpose. She placed her books down and sat gingerly on the step, watching the sun rouse itself up and into the sky. Half-heartedly, she opened her copy of Oliver Twist. Becoming engrossed in her book, comforted by the familiar characters, she didn't notice a pair of roving eyes peering out the neighbor's window.  
  
***  
  
In the diner, the footsteps died as Luke appeared in the doorway. He had a stern look on his face, but his eyes danced with amusement. "So, did you both have a good sleep?" he asked dryly.  
  
"After we had sex on all the countertops, yes." Jess said with a smirk. Luke's expression quickly changed.  
  
"JESS! I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU-"  
  
"Calm down, I was kidding."  
  
"You better be kidding! Because let me tell you-"  
  
"Luke, I would never disrespect her, all right?" Jess mumbled, looking down at his feet. And, avoiding Luke's eyes, he started to go up the stairs to shower, internally scolding himself for letting his guard down like that. Luke nodded to show he understood. He was about to turn and get ready to open, but he looked back at Jess, studying his face.  
  
"You really like her, don't you?"  
  
"One of the only sane people in this town. At least she's interesting."  
  
"Yea...but...uh...you...uh...you love her?"  
  
"Almost as much as you love Lorelai."  
  
"Jess!"  
  
"And we all know that's a hell of a lot."  
  
"JESS!"  
  
"Don't worry, I won't tell."  
  
"Go upstairs!" he ordered gruffly. Jess smirked and took the stairs two at a time. Absently, Luke sat at the counter, refilling his ketchup bottles. Jess had reminded him of Lorelai. Sighing, he hoped she wouldn't make too big a deal out of this. But he didn't exactly have a good feeling.  
  
***  
  
Rory had been sitting and reading peacefully for nearly 2 hours. She was about ¾ through Oliver Twist, and completely engrossed when the door swung open. Rory barely noticed until her mother spoke.  
  
"So, did you fall asleep in the gazebo? Decided to go for a late night swim? Or maybe you decided your bed was lonely? And you slept at Luke's? I hope you had fun." her mother said icily.  
  
Rory turned to see her mother standing there in her sweats, hair disheveled. Normally, Rory would have laughed, but these were definitely not normal circumstances. Rory felt incredibly guilt and tried to apologize.  
  
"Mom, I'm so sorry and-"  
  
"Yeah, I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that you'll never see Jess anymore!"  
  
"What? Nothing happened! That's not fair-"  
  
"Life's not fair."  
  
"Mom! I fell asleep! I'm sorry!"  
  
"A call would've been convenient, so at least I would know you were at Luke's. Then maybe I would be able to assume you were sleeping with Jess instead of hearing it from Luke."  
  
"MOM! I didn't sleep with Jess!" Rory shouted. But it was useless, because her mother had already slammed the door again. Rory sighed and sat down on the step again. She knew better than to go in the house. She opened Oliver Twist, and began reading, delicate teardrops sliding silently from the corners of her eyes, smudging the words in front of her.  
  
***  
  
The shadows got shorter and shorter as the morning passed. Rory couldn't bring herself to go back in, despite the fact that she had been sitting there for several hours. Finally, around 10:00, Lorelai appeared in the doorway, fully dressed. She was about to ask Rory to go for coffee so they could talk about it, but she remembered Jess would be working.  
  
"Get in the house. I'll bring you coffee and tallk to you when I get back." Lorelai told her shortly, a sharp warning in her voice.  
  
Rory wordlessly got up, her eyes red-rimmed and liquid. "Mom," she began.  
  
"Rory, please, I can't talk about this right now. Just go in the house."  
  
Rory nodded, and studied her mother's pained expression, noticing that her clear blue eyes looked clouded with grey. She shut the door quietly behind her, and in the next house, the curtains finally closed.  
  
***  
  
More A/N: I'm trying to make the dialogue distinctive so the entire story is easier to read. Please let me know if you notice any dialogue that is not in this format (a new paragraph when someone speaks). Anyway, this chapter was kind of a filler. I'm also going to start doing a next-chapter- preview type deal at the bottom of each page. Keep the feedback coming, and thanks again for those who reviewed. It makes my day.  
  
NEXT CHAPTER: Lorelai talks to Luke, maybe Jess, and Rory, and the town has a reaction to this little R/J episode as well. 


	10. Brings Me Home

Disclaimer: Do I even have to bother with this anymore? You know I don't own it.  
  
Pairing: Literati, JavaJunkie  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
A/N: Told ya the chapters weren't coming as fast now. Anyway, good things come to those who wait. I hope this'll be a good thing that came to those of you who are still patiently waiting. And to those of you who are, and those of you who continue to offer feedback, thanks.  
  
***  
  
While Rory sat apprehensively in the silence of the house, there was a general buzz outside. Stars Hollow was alive with gossip, and anxious to prove it.  
  
"I heard she slept with him!"  
  
"And Lorelai knows!"  
  
"NO! What did she do?"  
  
"I don't know, but it won't be pretty now, will it, darling?"  
  
"I know what MY mother would say if she found me with someone like that. What ever happened to Dean?"  
  
"Broke up. But honey, that's old news. And everyone knew about her romantic feelings for Jess. And she'll be fine. She's a responsible little girl."  
  
"Now, what about Luke and Lorelai?"  
  
"I have no news on that one. A first."  
  
Ms. Patty's loud voice and booming chuckle carried on the wind. Or perhaps it carried on the beginnings of what was shaping up to be the longest gossip chain in history. Had Rory known, she would have been incredibly distraught. And embarrassed. The last thing she wanted was having the entire town of Stars Hollow thinking she had slept with Jess. Not that the idea didn't appeal to her. But every time it approached itself, Rory shook her head hard and quick, as if to be rid the idea entirely. She knew she couldn't. Not now. The point was, she told herself, the more the town repeated the idea, the more her mother would believe it to be true. This thought that the town might find out haunted her, forcing her to close the curtains, forcing out the brighter light from the outside, leaving her in semi-darkness. How she liked it best.  
  
***  
  
The sun shone brilliantly overhead on this particular day in August. Shimmering waves of heat were scattered through the town, and the light had killed almost all energy. But enough energy was left to gossip, and the light only fed the fire, it seemed. Lorelai had been at the diner for over 3 hours. She was downing her 8th cup of coffee. Luke watched her, concerned. Finally, after she had finished the last of the coffee in her mug, and steam and rich scent had somewhat calmed her system, and Luke made his way over.  
  
"I'm going to have to cut you off."  
  
"NOO! Luke! You can't!"  
  
"I don't want to ruin your health. If you think Sookie does, why don't you go see her instead?"  
  
"Luke!" she whined.  
  
"Lorelai," he replied sternly.  
  
"Luke, one more cup. I've had enough stress for the day."  
  
"Who's fault is that?" he mumbled as he walked away.  
  
Lorelai sat there for a minute, her blood boiling.  
  
"What is THAT supposed to mean?" she spat. "It was YOUR nephew that slept with my daughter!"  
  
The entire diner turned it's collective head, watching the next installment of this particular episode of entertainment.  
  
"Lorelai! Lower your voice! Jesus. Now, first of all, they DID NOT sleep together. They were down here talking, and, uh, they were kissing a little, but they DID NOT sleep together. They were probably talking about something and fell asleep. As I have tried and tried to tell you. The fact that you didn't listen to me or your daughter caused you unnecessary stress worrying about something that didn't happen. And second of all, if they had slept together, (and that's an if, because they didn't) it would be, as much as I love Rory, her fault as well. So don't place the blame entirely on me, or entirely on him. That's what got you in trouble the first time!" he hissed, but looking at her gently.  
  
She just looked at him, and he stared back for a second, forgetting Lorelai's troubles as he realized how tantalizingly close to her mouth he was. He didn't move, afraid to break the spell. Lorelai was caught in the moment, realizing how near she was to him. Then, shaking her head, she realized the truth of what Luke had just said. She remembered Rory's liquid eyes, her panicked expression, and her sagging shoulders. And then she remembered how she didn't want to listen to a word Rory had said. Periodically, Jess's face would pop into her mind.  
  
Lorelai's eyes clouded over, and she put her head in her hands for a moment. Luke looked at her, and fought the urge to wrap his arms around her. Then he saw that the entire diner was still watching, waiting. He stood up, leaving Lorelai for just a moment.  
  
"That's it! Everybody out! Food's on the house!" Luke shouted gruffly. Lorelai looked up.  
  
"Luke," she whispered. "You don't have to close the diner."  
  
Luke ignored this statement. He looked down at the mixture of pain, panic and confusion in her eyes. As everyone gathered their things and rushed out, in a flurry of whispers and side glances, he came out from behind the counter.  
  
"Why don't we...uh...go somewhere? I mean, just to get your mind of this whole mess. I mean, uh...we don't have to...but...I thought..." he trailed off, immediately feeling ridiculous for offering. She had better things to do.  
  
"But Luke, Rory, and I can't...I didn't..." she choked out, tears flowing freely down her cheeks, much like the rain on the windshield on a stormy day. And without word, Luke tentatively wrapped his arms around her. Lorelai looked surprised for a second, and then leaned her exhausted body against his, sobbing quietly. What neither of them realized, was that Ms. Patty was still watching through the blinds. And she was thinking how much they belonged together. And Ms. Patty was the last person in Stars Hollow anyone would expect to have a sincere, quiet, to herself kind of thought, but she would have surprised everyone when she wondered something silently for the first time. "Why can't she see it?"  
  
***  
  
It was Rory's turn to wait. She imagined how her mother must have felt last night. Sighing and shifting guiltily, Rory sipped the coffee she had brewed. She had soon realized that she was not going to function without it. But despite the rich, comforting aroma, the coffee itself tasted terrible. She drained the last of it despite the taste, craving the caffeine buzz that usually hit her, but it didn't come. She rose tiredly to crew another cup, deciding to make it even stronger. As the coffee gurgled, Rory dropped onto her bed, opening Oliver Twist. Only a few more pages left. But she couldn't concentrate. She kept thinking about her mom. And Jess. A hint of a smile crossed her face.  
  
***  
  
Jess had been upstairs all day, sleeping. He was just beginning another dream when Luke's voice coming from downstairs interrupted. "...on the house!"  
  
He awoke, not annoyed, but with a ridiculously wide grin on his face. Caused by dream-Rory, no doubt. Memories of this morning. And last night. His grin faded into a small smirk. He quickly wiped it off when he glanced in the mirror and noticed, and he shook himself mentally. Then he started down the stairs.  
  
He stopped immediately when he saw Luke holding Lorelai in his arms. Jess didn't want to cause any problems for Rory, or for himself for that matter, by breaking the two up now. And as much as he refused to admit it, he didn't want to see the peaceful looks on their faces fade. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered why they weren't dating. He remembered his first encounter with Lorelai.  
  
"Are you sleeping with him or something?"  
  
That had been the worst possible thing he could have said, not that he knew at the time. He wondered now if it had been the wrong thing simply because Lorelai thought it was an inappropriate comment, or because she wished she was.  
  
***  
  
Luke had been holding Lorelai in his arms for nearly half an hour while she cried and babbled incoherently. When she finally stopped, she was able to put together a conscious thought from against Luke's muscled chest. 'God, it's hot.' Then, 'He has a nice chest.' She started shaking her head and laughing a little at herself. She couldn't believe herself. Luke glanced down.  
  
"Feeling better?" he asked gruffly.  
  
Once again, her mind and her mouth lost their connection. "Do you still want to go somewhere?" she heard herself ask. She immediately slapped herself. She was obviously having some kind of after-caffeine buzz that came with drinking that much coffee at once.  
  
"Uh...sure." Luke said, surprised, and trying to mask the hint of happiness in his voice.  
  
"When we were driving back from my parent's the other Friday I saw this cute little coffee shop," Lorelai began.  
  
"Should've known."  
  
"Hey, you offered, Coffee King."  
  
"Coffee King?"  
  
"Well, I am the Coffee Queen...making you my Coffee King."  
  
Luke's eyes widened at the unintended implications of her statement. Lorelai blushed and quickly added. "For the day, that is. Then Rory will have the honor back of being the Coffee King."  
  
"Uh, in case you haven't noticed, Rory's not exactly all that manly."  
  
"Hey, she does OK. She can pretend. But without all the disgusting...manly stuff involved." Lorelai said with a smile. She looked at him, and she felt an unidentifiable feeling. She froze. He stared back, not moving either. And before they left, they stayed that way for a little while.  
  
***  
  
A/N 2: I know, I know, it was mostly JavaJunkie stuff. But I couldn't help it. I'm a Junkie at heart. Anyway, sorry if you were expecting more Literati based stuff. But it's coming. It is.  
  
NEXT CHAPTER: More Junkie stuff-they go to the cute little coffee shop. While they're gone, some Literati stuff happens too. Lorelai and Rory may or may not talk in this chapter. I don't know if Lorelai will talk to Jess either. But their WILL be L/L, R/J, and at least one Rory-Lorelai conversation. Coming soon. (I feel like I'm advertising a movie sequel or something. 'Coming soon'. ;-D) 


	11. I'm Here

Disclaimer: Don't own it.  
  
Pairings: Literati, some JavaJunkie  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
A/N: I'll be updating this story probably every other day now. I've finally started another fanfic, called If I Fall. It's a trory. Ok, now I'm done with the shameless plug ( Anyway, the story goes on, keep the feedback coming. I appreciate all the feedback I've gotten. I know I say it every time, but really. The feeling of a new review never gets old ;-)  
  
PLEASE NOTE: I know that Jess doesn't have a sister, or at least not one we're aware of. Work with me here.  
  
***  
  
After their 'moment' in the diner, Lorelai needed to get out of there to clear her head. She was completely confused, and though this feeling with Luke wasn't exactly new to her, it was now intensified times 10. Almost all thoughts of the entire Rory/Jess situation flew out the window, despite the fact that Lorelai had been angry about it only a few hours ago. She had too much on her mind.  
  
Unfortunately, she had already invited Luke to go to the coffee shop with her, so she decided to bring him along anyway. He could probably give her some good advice without realizing that it was about him, she decided. So she turned to Luke expectantly.  
  
"Ready?"  
  
"Uh...sure," he said nervously. Luke had never been out with Lorelai, and despite the fact that he realized she didn't intend it to be a date, he was unsure of how comfortable it would be after all the things that had occurred over the past several hours, and through the tension that was apparent when they were within 3 feet of each other. Luke was strongly reminded of the day when she tagged along with him to go apartment shopping, and she had pretended they were married. He could almost feel her touch burning into his arm again, her hip pressed close to his. Then he pinched himself lightly. He knew he was being dumb, reminiscing about this kind of thing.  
  
'We're just friends, Luke,' he reminded himself. 'It's not a date. It doesn't matter. She just...needs someone right now. And you just happen to be here.' So he followed her out of the diner and into the Jeep, trying not to stare at her as she walked in front of him. He examined his fingernails instead. Or, he pretended to.  
  
What Lorelai didn't realize was that she was forgetting something, or someone, very important back in the Gilmore household.  
  
***  
  
Rory sighed almost sleepily. She had been lying on her bed for over 4 hours. She had been done Oliver Twist for quite some time. She was sick of waiting, and annoyed that, however mad her mother was, she didn't have the decency to call. Picking a thread out of her quilt, she decided. She would just walk to Luke's and get her mother, not caring if her mom spoke her mind in front of the entire town. Rory couldn't take it anymore.  
  
She began the walk in the bright sunshine to Luke's. The sun beat down on her, making her sweat. Her hair curled in tendrils, sticking to her forehead. She plodded lethargically towards the diner. She reached her destination and was about to pull open the door when someone else did it for her. She walked in the diner with Jess, careful not to press too close as they squeezed through the door.  
  
"They left."  
  
"What do you mean, they left? Where did they go?"  
  
"I heard your mom talking about some coffee shop she saw or something. I was coming downstairs and I saw your mom crying. Luke was holding her, rubbing her back and stuff. Then the two of them left after that. They took your mom's car. Good thing, because we don't know what's going to happen with them in that car, and I wouldn't want Luke's car contaminated with that kind of dirty thought. I'd never be able to sit in it again."  
  
"Oh, so you want that kind of thought associated with my-wait, wait, Mom and Luke? Cmon."  
  
"Rory, don't tell me you're that blind. There's so much sexual tens-"  
  
"Ok, stop there."  
  
Jess tried not to grin. "What, not a big fan of the sexual tension? Because, you seem to have that whole blushing down pretty good whenever you have sexual thought."  
  
"I don't have sexual thoughts."  
  
"Ok...if you say so," he said airily, smirking at her, knowing how to get a rise out of her.  
  
"Well, who would I have that kind of thought about?" she teased  
  
"Rory!" he gasped, pretending to be hurt. "I'm insulted. I'm not worthy of being in your thoughts?"  
  
"Yea, you are...but does that mean sexual? Not necessarily," she shot back haughtily.  
  
"Oh really? So, no sexual thoughts at all?" he asked, in a husky tone. He dipped close to her lips, then turned to whisper the rest in her ear, smiling when he saw the color rise to her cheeks. Rory tried to suppress a shudder at the hot chills that were returning.  
  
"Nope, none," she said, stubborn as ever, but there was an embarrassingly husky quality to her voice too. She flushed even brighter, but Jess just pressed his lips to hers, pulling her in. She succumbed. With his free hand, he flipped the diner sign to 'Closed'.  
  
***  
  
"This tea is disgusting," Luke grunted.  
  
"So is this coffee. But at least the shop is quaint. Small, very cute."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Monosyllabic man returns. Hey...Luke?" Lorelai began.  
  
He nodded in response.  
  
"Why did you comfort me like that this morning? You didn't have to, really. I think the emotional break down was partially due to caffeine buzz. Didn't mean to freak you out."  
  
"It's fine," Luke said, purposely evading the question.  
  
The two just sat in silence for a minute, comforted by the other's presence.  
  
"Luke?" Lorelai whispered, in a rare moment of vulnerability and sincerity. She grabbed his hand quickly. A chill ran down her spine as he tensed, then his fingers slowly brushed and intertwined with hers before letting go quickly. "Don't ever get mad at me again. I need you. Which I made blatantly clear today. I don't know if it's you...but I need something. And you're doing a damn good job to fill my neediness. Not in a sexual way...just...I don't know..." Lorelai continued to babble, embarrassed. Luke yanked his hand under the table and tried to ignore the burning sensation and the returning tension.  
  
"Lorelai, it's fine." He repeated. "That's what I'm here for."  
  
She simply nodded. Then, grinning, she asked, "Want some coffee?"  
  
"Never," Luke muttered darkly, shaking his head. "That stuff is evil."  
  
"Such a strong word! I prefer...addictive. With a positive connotation, of course."  
  
Luke just rolled his eyes, trying to hide a smile. 'This is Lorelai for you,' he thought.  
  
***  
  
The diner was silent. Jess was sitting in THE corner, as he had deemed it, Rory in his arms, when the phone rang shrilly, interrupting the precious silence. He looked at her apologetically, then rushed to get the phone.  
  
"Luke's."  
  
"Jess?" a voice asked over the phone.  
  
"Yes." Jess snapped coldly. It was his mother. "What do you want?"  
  
"I have some bad news," she said, her usually bored, careless voice wavering just a bit. "Your sister was in an accident."  
  
Jess froze, his blood stopped cold in his veins. She remembered his sister's angelic face, a picture from a past so long ago. He told her he would be back eventually. And he did come back to visit. But she was the only reason he ever came back to New York, aside from the city itself. And when he had left a second time, her brown eyes had welled up. He had promised her he would come back to see her again. Nothing could happen to her. Nothing.  
  
"What kind of accident?" he asked, shaking.  
  
"Like I said. Bad. She got hit by a car."  
  
Irked by his mother's seemingly insensitive tone, he questioned further, "Well, is she OK?'  
  
A few words came over the line to cause him to break completely. "No. She's dead."  
  
Jess turned white, his eyes welling up a little. He shakily placed the phone back on its receiver and slumped against the wall. Slowly, he fell towards the floor. Rory walked over, not saying a word. She wrapped him in her arms, and time froze for just a little while.  
  
*** 


	12. There It Is

Disclaimer: See previous chapter...and the chapter before that...and the chapter before that  
  
Parings: R/J, L/L  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
A/N: Continuing on with the story. THANK YOU for the feedback. I cannot say this enough. THANK YOU. Really. I mean it. Anyway, here's the next chapter.  
  
***  
  
Vanessa Carlton blared through the Jeep. The fading sunlight shone through the window, weakened by the night that was coming. Luke flinched and switched the radio off.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Sorry, I can't listen to that."  
  
"C'mon Luke! I know you like it."  
  
Lorelai grinned and switched the radio back on, turning it up as loud as it would go. The music blared in their ears so loudly they could barely hear it. Lorelai opened her mouth, singing along with the words as loudly as she could.  
  
"You know I'd walk a thousand miles/if I could just see you tonight!" she sang.  
  
Luke tried to suppress a laugh, but failed. Her voice was terrible. Which figured. She had so many unexpected quirks, it figured she would be a bad singer as well. Lorelai heard his chuckle and immediately turned to look at him. Luke fought to stay serious, but he couldn't help but smile.  
  
"Luke Danes? Laughing and smiling? Alert the presses! Call CNN!"  
  
"Can I help it if you're a terrible singer?" he retorted with a smirk.  
  
Lorelai pretended to look insulted. "Am not!"  
  
"Yes you are."  
  
"Am not."  
  
"Well, for my sake, can we keep the radio off?"  
  
"C'mon, I wasn't THAT bad."  
  
"Define bad."  
  
Lorelai playfully punched him in the arm. They were nearing the diner, and suddenly Lorelai remembered the problems she had escaped from.  
  
"Rory...oh no," she moaned. "I never called! I didn't even...oh man."  
  
"Lorelai, don't worry about it, she's probably with Jess."  
  
"Gee, what a comfort."  
  
"Lorelai. Come on."  
  
"OK, OK. Sorry. It's just...I mean...I never thought Rory would be so irresponsible. AGAIN. Maybe she's making a habit out of this whole falling asleep thing. New boyfriend? Oh well, let's sleep next to him to break him in."  
  
"Lorelai. Please. You know nothing happened, so why are you making this into such a big issue?"  
  
"Because...because....because I don't want her to turn out like me!" she cried.  
  
"Lorelai, Rory is responsible. I think I believe it more than you do. She wouldn't make that mistake. Jess respects her. I know he would never push her." Then Luke smiled wryly. "Trust me, no one could turn out like you."  
  
"Was that a compliment?"  
  
"Uhhh..."  
  
"Just say yes."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oooh...you follow orders outside the diner too. You could be my slave!"  
  
Luke glared.  
  
"Ok, maybe slavery isn't the greatest idea...although it would have its benefits," Lorelai quipped, wiggling her eyebrows. Luke blushed, looking away immediately and trying to hide it, but it didn't go unnoticed, and Lorelai once again realized she had said something with unintended second meaning. She blushed a little too.  
  
"I didn't mean-"  
  
"I know," Luke interrupted gruffly. The awkward silence had returned as they pulled up to the diner. By this time, it was dark. The stars were beginning to come out, gleaming white against the deep blue.  
  
***  
  
Rory had been cradling Jess in her arms for 2 hours. It had been the most emotionally draining day of her life. A fight with and disappearance of her mother, kissing Jess. All of a sudden, the mood with Jess had done a complete turnaround. She knew he didn't have a lot of family, so she couldn't imagine what it would feel like to lose someone when you had nearly no one. She felt Jess's damp cheeks, but didn't mention it. Watching the first star appear, she realized she probably didn't have much time before her mom came back. Then she remembered the one thing she had forgotten to say.  
  
"Jess?" she whispered softly.  
  
"Yeah?" he whispered back, shakily and barely audible.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't worry about it. It's just...she...I...I told her I'd be back...she was the only...I never...I only came back for her...I have nothing..." he said from against her chest.  
  
"You have me," she told him firmly.  
  
He smiled from against her chest, but quickly wiped it off. It didn't feel right, under the circumstances. He knew he had to go back to New York now, and he didn't want to do it by himself.  
  
"I'm going to go back for her funeral."  
  
As if reading his mind, she turned his head so she could see his eyes. "Do you need me?" she asked simply. She watched for his reaction. The usual blank façade he put up was replaced by a combination of overwhelming sadness, but relief at the same time. He didn't have to say.  
  
"If you need me, I'll go. I'll be there." She kissed Jess gently and held him some more. Her eyes were full, and then they began to drip, salty tears flowing down her face, over her lips. She didn't know what she was crying for. Maybe for Jess, maybe for her mother, maybe for herself. She couldn't decide. She heard the Jeep pull up, but it didn't register that her mother was back. All that seemed to register was the fact that she was with Jess. He needed her right now. There was nowhere else to be. And at that moment, she knew what love was. She squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back. Through her tears, a faint smile crossed her lips, lighting her blue eyes in the darkness.  
  
***  
  
"Luke, I know I already told you...but thanks...really...I mean..." "Lorelai. It was no problem. Trust me." He gave her a look. They just stared for a minute. Luke was looking at Lorelai in a way that gave her chills. His eyes were darkened with something, but she couldn't place exactly what. It wasn't anger, that was for sure. She just looked at him. He wanted kiss her so badly, he could practically taste it. But as he had for many moments in the past, he refrained. She moved a little closer, then she spoke.  
  
"Yea. So. We should probably go in. Rory's probably trying to beat my coffee record this from morning as we speak."  
  
"Yea."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Yea."  
  
The two reluctantly got out of the car, leaving the tension behind.  
  
***  
  
Rory and Jess barely looked up when they heard the bell ring. Lorelai and Luke couldn't see the two behind the counter.  
  
"Jess?" Luke called.  
  
Jess stood up, his face still pale, his eyes bloodshot, and his voice hoarse.  
  
"What."  
  
Rory stood up behind him. Lorelai's maternal instincts were screaming that once again, something had happened between Rory and Jess. Then she saw her daughter's tearstained face, and Jess's sad dark eyes that were usually guarded. She had been wrong. Something was going on, but not between Rory and Jess. Not now. Something was wrong. She opened her mouth to speak, but Luke beat her to it.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"My sister. She died," Jess stated quietly, looking into Luke's face.  
  
"What? Alexa? She...how...are you...oh man. How do you know?"  
  
"Liz called."  
  
"Oh geez. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. What happened?"  
  
"Car accident or something...she was only 7...I never..."he began, and then stopped, his voice catching. He was determined not to cry in front of Lorelai and Luke.  
  
Lorelai reached over and touched Jess's hand. His first instinct was to yank it away, but he was too drained to even think of one sarcastic remark, or to put up his usual act. She let go seconds later anyway.  
  
"I'm sorry," Lorelai said.  
  
"Thanks," he said simply.  
  
"You have to go back, right?" Luke asked.  
  
"Just for a day or two."  
  
"I'm going," Rory stated quietly from the dark corner.  
  
Luke just looked at Rory in disbelief, but said nothing. Then he braced himself for Lorelai's reaction, but nothing came. Lorelai opened her mouth as if to argue, but decided against it. She had heard the tone in Rory's voice. Quiet conviction. She saw no sense in arguing. She simply stood there. And nodded. And then watched Jess closely. But where she expected to see desire, she saw only relief. Then she knew.  
  
Luke was right. She berated herself for thinking that Jess was that low, to use this situation like that. He had lost someone he cared about. How could she even think that? And, he cared about Rory, and she cared about him. She finally saw what Luke meant. He wasn't a terrible person. She felt guilty about judging him. It took this situation for Lorelai to realize, but at least she knew. Jess wasn't the bad guy here. Lorelai remembered what it felt like to be judged by mistakes. And then everything from this morning seemed to be forgotten. The mistake, thought surely not forgotten by Ms. Patty, was forgotten by Lorelai. It seemed like centuries ago. All that mattered to her now was Luke, and Rory, and...Jess. All of them together. Lorelai sighed sadly for Jess's sake.  
  
Rory looked stunned that her mother had agreed, but every few seconds she squeezed Jess's hand reassuringly in a simple, loving gesture. Luke looked at Lorelai, also surprised she hadn't argued. But he was also kind of proud of her. And her showing that she did want to make an effort made him want her even more. And then he remembered the horrible news once more. He looked at Jess, who was staring out the window, his face uncharacteristically emotional. Jess thought about the difficult times to come. But he knew with Rory there, it would eventually be OK. The four of them sat for a little while, in close, quiet, comfortable silence. The diner was, after all, a common spot for the any of the 4 after sunset. The stars winked and blinked. The moon hung, a translucent paper crescent in the sky.  
  
***  
  
More A/N: I know, I'm kinda dragging out the JavaJunkie stuff, but I'm not sure where I'm going with it, exactly. This chapter wasn't my best work, but I think I'm AT LEAST halfway through the story, and I'm trying to tie this all together as I go along. Doing my best here. :) Anyway, feedback? Ya know I love it. 


	13. It's All Mixed Up

Disclaimer: Don't own it  
  
Pairing: Literati (not much JavaJunkie this chapter)  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
A/N: OK, I'm in between two stories, both Literatis, so I'll try and post a new chapter for each story every day, or every other. My other is called "When It Rains". Don't ya love how I put in shameless plugs like that? I think it's fun. Anyway, enjoy this next chapter. It's filled with Literati ;-)  
  
***  
  
"Bye, hon. Don't do anything that I wouldn't do."  
  
"That doesn't leave many restrictions."  
  
"OK, let's rephrase. Don't do anything I wouldn't want you to do, but have probably done myself."  
  
"That's better."  
  
The two Gilmores stood at the bus station. They looked at each other. Lorelai looked almost tearful. They embraced, getting lost in each other. Luke and Jess looked on, both with a sense of caring amusement and awe at the bond between the two. As they hugged some more, Luke and Jess just stood, facing each other under the bright, piercing lamps of the station.  
  
"So," Luke began awkwardly. "I guess this is it."  
  
"Yup. I would say so."  
  
"Well, uhh...good luck."  
  
Luke looked uncomfortable, as if he didn't know what else to do. He stuck out his hand and Jess refrained from making a sarcastic comment. Instead, he just took it and shook hands with a man that had become nearly a father to him.  
  
"And Jess?"  
  
Jess nodded in acknowledgment.  
  
"Don't do anything with Rory, all right? And if you do...just..."  
  
"...be careful. I know. Don't worry. I won't mess up the town princess." He filled in bitterly, his mood changing suddenly. He was tired of the don't- mess-with-Rory speech.  
  
"That's not what I meant. It's just...she...uhh...I know she really likes you, and stuff could happen."  
  
"I won't." Jess said, with a hint of annoyance in his voice. Yet, he had to fight back a small smile, the first that had come to him since the fateful phone call only a day ago. "I know she really likes you," he had said. The words reverberated in his mind.  
  
Lorelai and Rory had finished hugging and were giggling about something. Lorelai was looking pointedly at Luke, and Rory laughed quietly. Luke just rolled his eyes. "What?"  
  
"Nothing," Lorelai replied airily.  
  
The Gilmores grinned secretively at each other and hugged one last time. "Be careful," Lorelai whispered into the shell of her daughter's ear. The tinny voice of the announcer over the loud speaker blared through the station, interrupting.  
  
"Bus 10 to New York is now boarding."  
  
The four exchanged glances, a new understanding among them. Surprising everyone, Lorelai spoke.  
  
"Good luck, Jess."  
  
Jess nodded, but the surprised look that appeared never left his face. Rory gave one last wave to both adults, and the two headed for the bus. Luke and Lorelai stood as they watched the two walk away, their figures disappearing into the bus. The bus started and then roared away, leaving them in a cloud of exhaust and weary worry.  
  
***  
  
Jess and Rory sat in a comfortable silence as the bus rolled along. Rory was staring wide-eyed out the window, watching blurs of green, white, and blue, and various shades of passing cars pass by her eyes. Jess simply watched her for a while, her presence calming him a little, making him forget for just a moment why he was sitting on the bus. He continued to watch her as she turned her attention to her backpack, pulled out a book, and began to read.  
  
" 'How Green Was My Valley?' " Jess asked dryly.  
  
"It's comforting."  
  
"Yeah, because it lulls you to sleep. Then you can dream comfortably."  
  
"It's a good book!"  
  
"Good for falling asleep to."  
  
"It's like 'Little Women.' It makes you realize what life was really like back then."  
  
"That's why I've never read 'Little Women.'"  
  
"This from the man who reads Hemingway."  
  
"Hemingway is better than that stuff."  
  
"Ugh, are you kidding?"  
  
Rory smiled a little as she said this and returned to her book. Jess glanced at her one last time before he opened a book of his own. She was his comfort.  
  
***  
  
Hours later, Rory and Jess had finally reached their destination. Rory had gotten sidetracked. Her awe never failed for the tall buildings and excited chatter that buzzed along the streets.  
  
The hotel Lorelai and Luke had booked for the two of them loomed overhead. Jess couldn't stay in his apartment. It would bring back too many memories, and he didn't know how it would affect him. They checked in, and headed for their room, 110. Nervously, they rode the elevator in silence. Despite the reason for this trip, the two were still attracted to each other, and it was somewhat awkward sleeping in the same room. But both Jess and Rory were looking forward to it, although neither would say it out loud.  
  
The elevator reached the floor quickly. The doors opened, and they wandered down the brightly lit, carpeted halls. The two found the wooden door marked '110' in gold. Rory swung open the door.  
  
"Wow," she remarked.  
  
The floors were richly carpeted with a white shag carpet. The bedspread was of corduroy material, a deep blue. Silver lamps sat on the bed side tables, and a large television-wait. Rory's train of thought was interrupted. Jess flashed her a grin. He had noticed too. Rory looked at him, he blue eyes wide and worried. She knew the idea appealed to her, but it was wrong. She couldn't.  
  
"Why is there only one bed?" she asked, panicking a little.  
  
"Your mom and Luke sure didn't plan on this one happening."  
  
"There must be some mistake."  
  
"Well, if it concerns you that much, let's go down to the front desk and ask," he told her simply.  
  
Rory didn't have to respond. She dropped her bags and almost ran for the elevator. Jess nearly didn't make it through the doors in time.  
  
*** As soon as the elevator bell rang, and the silver door opened, Rory rushed out. Jess followed, somewhat amused, and a little surprised at her panicked face. He didn't know whether she really wanted to be with him and didn't want to do something wrong, or if she just wasn't attracted to him like that. Then he berated himself for thinking about it at all. There were other things to think about. Alexa. He frowned sadly.  
  
Rory didn't take notice. She headed up to the front desk, observing her reflection in the polished wooden floors as she did so.  
  
"Yes, sir, we have a problem with our room. Gilmore?"  
  
"Yes. One room? King sized bed?" The man at the desk confirmed.  
  
Rory nodded and contined.  
  
"Umm, actually, that's the problem. We were supposed to have one room with two separate beds."  
  
"Ahh...no. Sorry. It says King here. Aren't you the married couple?"  
  
Jess snapped out of his reverie and had to fight the urge to laugh, and Rory turned a deep maroon. She took a deep breath and tried not to picture what their wedding night would be like.  
  
"No, sir. We're not married."  
  
The clerk stared at his reservation book.  
  
"Oh! I'm sorry. These two must have gotten confused. You're right, ma'am, you have two queens. What room did I give you?"  
  
"110."  
  
"I'm sorry. You're in 210. Here are your keys. Sorry for the mix up, ma'am."  
  
Rory looked totally relieved, but the relief quickly left her face as she turned to Jess and they walked to the elevator. He was wearing a wicked smirk.  
  
"What's the matter, don't want to share a bed with me? I mean, we are married, after all."  
  
Rory willed herself not to blush anymore, but couldn't help it. The same mental picture kept appearing in her brain, giving her those chills she was becoming too familiar with. She fought the urge to kiss him on the spot as her knees went weak.  
  
"Do you want to be killed by my mother and buried in our front lawn? The sudden marriage might come as a bit of a shock. And we do have all those dangerous kitchen utensils," she quipped, quickly recovering.  
  
"So you DO."  
  
"Didn't say that."  
  
"So you DON'T." he teased her.  
  
"Didn't say that, either," she told him coyly.  
  
The two boarded the elevator and punched the button for the second floor. The air in the elevator held not relief, as one would have expected from Rory, but only disappointment. Jess wasn't the only one disappointed. The two stared at each other's reflections in the wide silver doors as they ascended. Tension hung like a fog over their heads. It took a few seconds for them to notice that the elevator had come to a stop.  
  
***  
  
A/N: PRESS THE BUTTON! Sorry, had to beg. I know that I didn't really say much about Alexa, but next chapter will probably be the funeral, so expect info, and some angst and sadness, next chapter. There will also be more Literati romance, maybe some JavaJunkie stuff. I don't know. Next chapter coming soon, though. 


	14. Crashing Into Me

Disclaimer: It's not mine  
  
Pairing: Literati  
  
Rating: PG-13/R-ish  
  
A/N: School starts Tuesday, so I'm going to try and get this whole thing finished so that by the time dance starts (on Sept. 9), all I'll be doing is posting the rest up. But I don't know. We're definitely nearing the end though :( It makes me sad, because this was my first fic, and my first Literati. I'll be sad to see it go. Anyway, enough drama, and on with the chapter.  
  
***  
  
Luke and Lorelai sighed nervously as they both climbed into Lorelai's Jeep. They had been hanging around the diner since the previous day, waiting for a telephone call that never came. Both were getting worried to the point where they were ready to go to New York themselves. After worrying for nearly 24 hours, they needed something, anything, to get their mind off of it, to pass the time. So they had gone to a movie, and gone out to eat. But both had been quiet and disconnected. As Lorelai started the car, they turned to each other and spoke in unison.  
  
"I'm worried."  
  
A small smile danced on Lorelai's mouth, but her eyes looked tired.  
  
"I don't know Luke...I mean, Rory likes him. A lot. I think she might love him. I don't know. I just...."  
  
"You know she's responsible, but you're afraid of what might happen. Maybe I should have gone with them."  
  
Lorelai glanced at him for a second, almost wishing he had. Then she wondered somewhere in her mind why he wasn't going to the funeral in the first place. "Actually, why didn't you?"  
  
"I don't think it was my place to go. I mean, the only reason I knew where their family lived, or was in contact with them at all, was 'cause of Jess. I didn't know Alexa at all. The only reason I woulda gone was to support Jess. Plus the whole...Rory...Jess...thing. So as terrible as I felt, I knew it was pointless to go. Now I kind of wish I had."  
  
"Wow. That's the longest sentence I've ever heard you say at one time! I'm so impressed."  
  
Luke rolled his eyes, and then looked at her affectionately. Lorelai's eyes widened the slightest bit at the way his eyes were boring into hers, but she quickly turned back towards the wheel.  
  
"Lorelai?"  
  
"What?" Lorelai jumped, answering almost too quickly.  
  
"Shut up and drive."  
  
And with that, the two headed back to Luke's for Lorelai's caffeine dose, riding the rest of the way in close, comfortable silence. Of course, Lorelai had to play Vanessa Carlton lightly in the background. Occasionally, she would sing along. Luke just laughed quietly.  
  
***  
  
Rory and Jess were returning to the hotel in silence. The funeral had been terribly tough for both, Jess because he was losing someone, and Rory because she hated seeing him fall apart. Tears were streaming down both of their cheeks as they reached the elevator. Rory's eyes were red and liquid, just as they always were when she cried, but Jess's eyes were tightly shut, as if he were trying to block out the memories. It was all too much to handle. He leaned against the elevator wall and covered his face with his hands. Fresh tears squeezed out from under his eyelids.  
  
Rory looked at him, helpless. She did the only thing she could. She reached out and squeezed his hand, and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry," she whispered gently. "But it will be OK." She kissed him on the forehead so gently, he thought he had imagined it.  
  
"She was beautiful," Jess said, suddenly, quietly, and shakily. The elevator came to a stop, and the doors opened, but he didn't move. "She always smiled...no matter what. And now she-she-" he couldn't continue. He just followed Rory into their room, the room that now had two separate beds. It was nearly twilight, and the last of the day's light was streaming in, burnt orange bright. It spilled over onto the rug.  
  
Rory sat on Jess's bed, holding him and watching him cry. It scared her a little. She was usually the one crying, or losing herself. It was him that was always calm and quiet, putting up the blank façade. But now sobs shook him, and Rory rubbed his back and tried to make it OK. When they finally subsided, he swallowed and looked her straight in the eyes.  
  
"Thank you," he told her simply, his voice even and soft.  
  
"Wouldn't miss it," she whispered back.  
  
He kissed her on the lips, but quickly pulled away as if he didn't want to get started. But Rory returned the kiss, and he couldn't help it. Emotions were rushing through the two of them. The turmoil of the day swirled around in their minds, and as they kissed once more, they felt comforted and connected. But the usual effect wasn't lost, despite the circumstances. Their many emotions seemed to intensify that feeling. One touch from either one to the other sent them reeling.  
  
Rory was stroking his back, and feeling him shiver. Her hands came around to the front, feeling his stomach. His abs tightened, and she smiled against his mouth. His mouth opened hungrily and their tongues met, the heat exploding in their mouths. Her hips moved slightly and involuntarily against his as they laid down on their sides. Jess fought the familiar urge to press himself closer. As they pulled away from each other, Jess stroked her stomach, watching her eyes grow heavy-lidded.  
  
They were getting in too deep, and Jess knew it. He forced himself to stop, and he saw her blue eyes lock on his, desire swimming in them, weakness clouding her irises, too. She saw the need and vulnerability in his. She repressed the urge to start anything again. She waited for him to speak. He had to ask her.  
  
"OK?"  
  
She nodded, and that was all it took. He pulled her over on top of him, and groaned instinctively as their hips met. Everything melted away as the curtain was closed, and darkness fell upon them. But Rory didn't need the light. She could feel well enough. Both closed their eyes, omitting that sense. They concentrated on that feeling as their bodies touched, filling the emptiness. It made them whole.  
  
***  
  
Lorelai and Luke had been waiting in the diner since they had gotten home from dinner. Lorelai was drinking her 5th cup of coffee. Her fingers tapped on the counter as Luke wandered aimlessly around the diner, refilling sugar canisters and wiping down spotless countertops.  
  
"Why haven't they called?" asked Lorelai, for possibly the hundredth time that day. When she didn't get an answer, she sighed and rose from her chair, wringing her hands. She wondered what could possibly be going on.  
  
"Maybe I should go. It's almost 11."  
  
"Yeah. I'll see you in the morning?"  
  
"Of course. The Phone Vigil continues. Thanks for waiting with me."  
  
"No problem. I'll call you...if they call."  
  
"Bye." She glanced at him, and then, on some kind of impulse, planted a quick kiss on Luke's mouth. And with that, she breezed outside, leaving Luke standing behind the counter. He touched his mouth and remained like that for a moment before shaking his head and walking upstairs. But his eyes were smiling.  
  
Lorelai pondered why she had done it all the way home. "Just platonic. No feelings for Luke. None at all. Nope. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero feelings for Luke." She mumbled out loud for a bit longer, and tried to convince herself of something that obviously wasn't true.  
  
***  
  
Rory was lying next to Jess, wrapped up in the sheets. She had her pajamas on now, and it was nearly 11:00, maybe past. His muscular arms were draped around her, and her head was resting on his stomach. It wasn't awkward now, as she thought it would be, but more comfortable between them. She wasn't worried, because they had been careful, and she definitely didn't regret. But as Jess rubbed her back, he was worried that she was already regretting.  
  
"Rory?"  
  
"Mmm?" she asked, her eyes closed.  
  
"Did you want to?"  
  
Rory, in a moment of out of character for her, smirked, as she affirmed her thoughts out loud.  
  
"Hell, yeah." He smirked at this, but he was also relieved. His smirk twisted into a small smile.  
  
"Your vulgarity continues to appall me." He quipped.  
  
Rory rolled her eyes, still smiling. His sarcasm was back. HE was back. She was relieved. Seeing him break down scared her. She supposed they had both been out of character today. Jess was vulnerable, and Rory finally, for once, gave in to her impulse. But she knew Jess wouldn't stay that way. She vaguely wondered if she would remain impulsive, and she remembered the events of the afternoon as she responded.  
  
"So sorry to have tainted your innocence."  
  
"I'll forgive you...maybe. On a couple of conditions."  
  
"Like?"  
  
Jess wiggled his eyebrows. Rory blushed, much more Rory-like, and he quickly amended.  
  
"Call your mom."  
  
"What?" asked Rory, momentarily confused. Then she remembered and sat straight up in bed, panicked.  
  
"Oh my God! I totally forgot! I should have called her right when I get here! She's going to kill me...I always call. What if she's worried? What if-"  
  
"Rory. Start breathing again long enough to call. The longer you wait, the more worried she'll be," he told her, sensibly and honestly.  
  
"Man, I hope you never get into a real emergency. You'd probably faint from lack of air intake," he remarked a second later. Rory ignored this comment and grabbed the phone, dialing in a frenzy. Her stomach fluttered with nerves, and she hoped that her mother wouldn't be too upset. She heard the ringing on the other end stop, and she caught her breath.  
  
"Hello?" came an earnest voice on the other end, a voice that sounded overwhelmed with confusion and worry.  
  
"Mom?" Rory asked shakily.  
  
"Gee, how nice of you to call."  
  
"I'm so sorry...it's just there was this whole hotel mix-up and the funeral and then we came back, and I didn't realize and-"  
  
"Do you have any idea how worried I was, Rory? You scared me!"  
  
"I know! I'm sorry! It's just, with all this drama and-"  
  
"Drama? More drama here than there. I kissed Luke," her mother interrupted, coming out with a blunt statement and completely swinging the conversation around. It was obvious that Lorelai had way too much on her mind to concentrate on scolding her daughter.  
  
"What? When? How did this happen?" Rory asked, confused at the sudden turn of conversation. But she was a little excited, and her heart jumped.  
  
"I don't know...I just kind of...acted on impulse, I guess."  
  
Rory smiled as she cradled the phone and thought of how familiar that sounded. "Well, sometimes giving into your impulses is good."  
  
"You would know."  
  
"I would, wouldn't I? Anyway, mom, I'm really sorry about the whole...not calling thing."  
  
"Don't let it happen again. I don't need to see you're ok on your own! I like to believe you're going to cling to your dear old mommy forever."  
  
"Then you would get sick of me."  
  
"Yeah, well, you know I'm already waiting for the day you get shipped away. Then I'll get your half of the junk food stash."  
  
"I miss you, Mom."  
  
"Ditto."  
  
"We'll probably be home in a day or two. Not that it matters. You have Luke to keep you company."  
  
"Hmmm. I'm wondering know if I should've shared that particular drama."  
  
"Too late."  
  
"OK, Ror, see you soon. Luv ya."  
  
"Me too. Bye."  
  
Rory hung up the phone contentedly. Sighing, she felt her eyes start to close and she buried her head in the crook of Jess's arm, comforted by the familiar smell and the heat of his skin. Jess looked down at her as she began to sleep. As her eyes closed, he spoke one last time.  
  
"How about a bedtime story?"  
  
"MM...like what?"  
  
"I'm thinking Hemingway?" he questioned, knowing what the response would be. There was a comfort in the consistency of their Hemingway argument.  
  
"Well, we all know it will put me to sleep faster."  
  
Jess sighed and laid his own head on the pillow, thanking whoever it was that sent her to him.  
  
***  
  
A/N: I know, I know. This chapter was a little risqué...but hey...I see it happening eventually. Anyway, I know it took me such a long time to post...but that won't happen anymore. At least, I hope not. Please review. Thanks for all of you who continue to support my stories. 


	15. You Fall Apart

Disclaimer: You know the score  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairings: Literati, finally JavaJunkie :-)  
  
A/N: I'm SORRY! This story is getting harder and harder to find time for between school and dance class, and my other story...but don't worry! I still love Literati, and I still love this story. And it goes on. OK? OK. :)  
  
***  
  
The bus finally came to a complete stop, and the doors swung open. Rory carelessly grabbed her bag and hurried off the bus and into her mother's waiting arms. Jess smiled, amused, as the aftermath of the avalanche of bags that had followed finally subsided. He noticed Luke standing off to the side of the Gilmore Girls, and he grabbed his bags and walked slowly off the bus. He was home. Wherever she was, he was home.  
  
***  
  
"So, how was the trip?" Lorelai asked nervously, skirting around an issue she'd been wondering for the time Rory and Jess had been gone. Rory knew exactly what she was really asking, but she didn't know how to tell her.  
  
"Umm...good. It was good." Memories played over and over in Rory's mind. She could still feel him against her skin, and her cheeks flushed the smallest bit. Her mother failed to notice.  
  
"And the funeral? Did he hold up OK?"  
  
"Yeah, I think he'll be all right. I'm trying to comfort him however I can. It was a tough loss, I think."  
  
"Obviously."  
  
"So, I guess I missed a lot of action back here. What's up with you and Luke?" Rory asked, almost whispering.  
  
"Oh...we're just...friends."  
  
Rory rolled her eyes. "Just like peanut butter tastes good with potato chips."  
  
"Hey! It does...taste...pretty...gross." Rory smiled at her mother's comment, and she was relieved to find their usual rhythm. Maybe her mother didn't suspect a thing.  
  
"I just noticed that most of our conversations revolve around food."  
  
"Is that healthy?"  
  
"Probably not."  
  
"Since when are we healthy?"  
  
"Since when do you ask so many questions?" Rory teased.  
  
Lorelai glanced at Jess, taking the conversation somewhere that was dangerous to go. Rory's heart jumped straight to her throat as she glanced at him, too. Her mother glanced at her suspiciously, and Rory tried hard not to look nervous at what her mother was about to ask. But her hopes of an innocent question were shattered the very next moment, a moment that came with harshly whispered words.  
  
"Did you sleep with him?"  
  
And then there was silence. Looking into her mother's eyes, she saw the plea for an answer, an honest one. Slowly, Rory nodded. Lorelai looked as if she'd been shot, and then she turned and walked towards the car in silence. Rory glanced back at Jess, and one look said he had seen everything. Rory shot him an apologetic look, and he rewarded her with a half smile. He hugged her with his eyes, and then she turned and walked away, retracing her mother's footsteps.  
  
***  
  
The car ride home was silent and uncomfortable. Lorelai wasn't acting angry, but Rory knew she was disappointed. And while she understood why, she really didn't at the same time. Her mother knew she would be careful, that she was responsible. Nothing happened. So what was the big deal? Her mother's reaction made her angry. She still couldn't trust Jess, and now she didn't trust her. This was great. Just great.  
  
Green-tree blurs whizzed by out her window, and she somewhere found her voice.  
  
"Mom?" she questioned. She got no response, and tried once more.  
  
"Mom?" Rory asked, her voice tinged with impatience.  
  
And there was still silence in the car. As they approached the center of town, her mother slowed to a stop in front of Luke's. Leaving Rory in the car, she quickly got out and slammed the door behind her. The crash echoed in Rory's head until she got up once more and followed, her blood boiling with every step.  
  
***  
  
The two Gilmores had been sitting at the counter in silence for more than an hour. The sky in each of their eyes was stormed with combinations of disappointment and anger. Jess had beckoned to Rory, but he knew she couldn't come right now. He wiped down the counter absently and dejectedly with a rag, hoping that it didn't last for too long. The thought that Rory regretted it kept floating into his mind, but he pushed it away. He just watched them out of the corner of his eye.  
  
Luke watched them too. He knew what had happened, and he was hoping that this wouldn't ruin his chances with Lorelai. He felt like he was finally getting somewhere with her. Breaking the shell. And he hoped whatever the hell was going on didn't ruin the balance that they had finally started to find.  
  
***  
  
"Mom, I can't stand this anymore. I'm sorry, ok? Just talk to me."  
  
"I can't believe you would do this, Rory!"  
  
"Why? Because I'm supposed to be perfect?" yelled Rory suddenly, her blood boiling over. She didn't care that Luke and Jess were in earshot, nor did she care that anyone in town could have heard her screaming.  
  
Jess tried hard not to pay attention, but he knew that Lorelai knew. And he figured this concerned him. So as he wiped the counter absently, he allowed the argument to reach his ears.  
  
"No! Because you're supposed to be responsible."  
  
"Well, I can't be responsible all the time! I'm still young! You made plenty of mistakes! Can't I make one?" Rory was practically shrieking now, and Jess had heard every last word. Pain filled his heart. Mistake. That's what he was to her. He knew he shouldn't have done this. Abruptly, he stopped short, ripped off his apron, and stomped up the stairs.  
  
Lorelai glared hard at her daughter, and rose to leave the diner, tears threatening to fall. Rory just sat there, nearly numb at what she had just said. She quickly tried to amend.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean it like that."  
  
"Well some things just slip out, don't they."  
  
And with a slam that rattled the salt shakers on the tables, Lorelai exited the diner, leaving Luke sitting at the counter, helpless, and Rory sitting, staring into her empty coffee cup, tears mixing with the remainder of cream and sugar.  
  
***  
  
Jess sat on his bed, trying to read. He didn't even bother to look at the words after a while, knowing it would be a lost cause. The word mistake echoed in his ears, playing a haunting melody in his mind he couldn't ignore. And the pain that always comes with heartache overtook him.  
  
***  
  
Lorelai sat at home on her bed, crying for something. She didn't know whether she was crying out of fear, rage, or jealousy. Or maybe all three. She didn't care. Her tears soaked the pillow until she was cried out. Then she heard the front door open, and footsteps slightly stomping through the kitchen. She couldn't face her daughter right now.  
  
But she would have to, because she heard footsteps coming up the stairs to her bedroom. A soft knock echoed at the door, and when she didn't respond to the knock, Rory opened the door to the room. But Lorelai just stared at Rory for a minute, and when her daughter said nothing, she closed the door quietly, right in her face.  
  
***  
  
A/N: Everything will be resolved eventually, don't you worry ;)  
  
Anyway, I'm so sorry it took soooooooooooo long to update...too much homework...damn teachers. Plus I'm taking dance, Spanish Club, Flamenco Dancing (which is separate from regular) and I'm the guys soccer team manager (which has it's benefits ;) *Wink wink*), and class rep. Ugh. Not to mention chores and crap. Sorry to have bored you with my social schedule.  
  
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT. *muah* :-* 


	16. Coming Around

Disclaimer: You know the score-song is "Please Forgive Me" by David Gray  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairings: Literati, finally JavaJunkie :-)  
  
A/N: I'm back again! This story is, sadly, coming to a close. This will be the last chapter, aside from the epilogue. I left a few things open ended, and I hope you're all okay with that. I'm going to give you all a little speech: Thanks for always supporting my story. There have been times when I've been so inspired, and there are times when writing this story seemed like hard work. Overall though, I think that I've grown a lot through this story, and it's because of you guys. So thanks :)  
  
***  
  
A tear dripped off the end of a chin, onto a pillowcase. The one who cried shifted to avoid the damp spot in the pillow they had created. Sighing, the person rolled over, gazing at the ceiling unhappily. Then they pulled out their copy of The Fountainhead. It was not Rory who cried now, or Lorelai. They were too hardened by anger and sadness to cry. It was Jess.  
  
***  
  
Rory Gilmore twisted her fingers around the corner of her pillowcase, knotting and unknotting the soft fabric. Her mother was angry with her, and it was all her own fault. Wishing for Jess, she rolled over on her side. Then she wondered why she hadn't thought of him before. Starting to brighten, she rose with purpose, pulling on some new clothing. It was almost evening, and the sky seemed slightly lightened with the promise of something. Rory quickly dressed and began the walk to Luke's.  
  
Jess was always there when she needed him. Always. She didn't know why she hadn't thought of this before. Not thinking about the fight in the diner, or reasoning that he may have heard, she ran up the steps at Luke's nod. Pounding on the door, she waited impatiently for Jess to answer, wanting only to be held. When no one answered, she knocked again, slightly harder.  
  
Finally, Jess snatched the door open. His eyes were red-rimmed, his hair was disheveled. His mouth was twisted into an unusually pained scowl, his eyes no longer blank. Emotion was raw on his face when he saw her standing there. And Rory still didn't understand. She reached out to touch his face.  
  
"What's the matter?" she asked. He responded by grabbing her hand suddenly and fiercely removing it from his face.  
  
"Careful now, wouldn't want you making anymore mistakes."  
  
"What are you-" Rory began, and then guilt dropped to her stomach as she realized what he was talking about.  
  
"Jess, I didn't mean it like that. You...you're...I made-"  
  
"Let me guess. A mistake?" he asked bitterly. "Look Rory, I don't have time for this. You didn't want it to happen? You can't handle this right now? Fine. Great. Just don't sit there and waste my time if you don't."  
  
"How can you say that?"  
  
"I just open my mouth and speak. It's not that difficult."  
  
And with that, Jess slammed the door in her face. On both sides of the door a body slid down the frame, dropping to the ground. Tears began to fall on opposite sides of the mahogany. Jess cradled his head in his hands, thinking of what he'd just lost. Rory sat there and sobbed for while, and then she rose to her feet, walking away for what seemed to be the last time. This was a true mistake, and this was one that she didn't know how to fix.  
  
***  
  
Rory slept the whole night through, but Jess was having considerable difficulty closing his eyes at all. Every time he tried, Rory's face seemed etched into the back of his mind. Guiltily, he thought that he should have forgiven her. But this was Jess. The Jess who had been hurt too many times before.  
  
This time he had learned for the last time. He knew there would be no one else who would ever be able to break his shell. Break him down. Sighing, he shook his head and tried to forget her, but he couldn't. And even if their relationship was ruined after this, he knew he never would.  
  
***  
  
Days passed with hard stares between the two Gilmores, between Rory and Jess. Luke seemed to be the innocent bystander in these arguments. He spoke to Lorelai occasionally, but he didn't know what to say to any of them, really. He served the coffee and kept quiet.  
  
After dinner one night, when Jess had gone upstairs and Rory had gone home, Lorelai sat stirring the last of her sugar into her last cup of coffee for the day. Luke watched her intently, allowing himself to be lost for just a moment. He watched her take a sip from her cup, and close her tired eyes for a brief moment. Lorelai felt his eyes on her and looked up from her coffee.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing," Luke answered gruffly, turning around to fill the ketchup containers. He tried to ignore the eyes he felt on his back, and the color rising to his cheeks. Finally, he couldn't take it. He turned around to find her staring intently at him, just as he had been.  
  
Lorelai watched him spin around towards her, and stared into his eyes for a few seconds. She couldn't believe it had taken her all this time to see it. Luke. It was Luke. Luke that was always there, Luke that gave her what she needed, Luke that made her day complete.  
  
"You know, some people say it's impolite to stare," he grumbled, blushing a little under her gaze.  
  
"Have you ever known me to use etiquette?" she asked, still looking into his eyes, falling into their usual routine.  
  
"I guess I shouldn't set my standards so high," he teased gently, smiling a little to let her know it. The silence in the diner after that hung thick and heavy over their heads, mirroring the clouds outside that were rolling, grey, lazy, and sleeping across the sky. They stared at each other for a little while. Lorelai felt a chill and wrapped her arms tighter around herself. She picked up her mug, and took one last sip, breaking the quietus.  
  
"Well, I guess I better get going."  
  
Luke looked reluctant to let her. "Yeah, with Rory and all. Hey Lorelai?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Give Rory a break, all right? I'm sure they were careful. And she didn't mean what she said. You know she didn't. You need her."  
  
Lorelai just looked at him as she began to rise, pausing for a few seconds, her face inches from his as he leaned over the counter. "Thanks," she said, solemn. Her eyes glittered, her mouth illuminated, teasing Luke, tantalizing in the darkness. For some reason, Lorelai was oddly aware of his body close to hers, and felt her breath catch as his finger brushed her arm ever so lightly, barely touching her. Finally, watching her lean into him, Luke's will broke. He is, after all, only a guy.  
  
Luke leaned in hesitantly, his mouth barely touching hers, caressing her lips with the lightest, and gentlest of kisses. Lorelai's heart registered its shock to the rest of her body, and she felt a strange, disconnected sense of electricity as she pressed her lips more firmly to his. Something felt so right, and Lorelai didn't care that it was Luke. The thought that it was, in fact, Luke she was finally kissing, gave her a sense of contentment. Her mouth opened slightly, feeling the warmth of his lips against hers. Finally, she broke apart, panting.  
  
Luke waited for her joke to bring them back to way they were before, but none came. He opened his mouth to justify his actions, but she spoke first.  
  
"Well, since I haven't eaten yet tonight, I had to find some use for my lips. Sorry. Though I noticed you weren't exactly complaining."  
  
"Yeah...well..." was the most Luke could offer. She had rendered him nearly speechless, and her smirk told him that she had finally figured that much out for herself. But her smirk softened into a smile as she rose and walked towards the door.  
  
"See you tomorrow."  
  
A gust of wind followed her out, biting at her heels, and as she walked along, she didn't noticed something coming towards her in the darkness.  
  
***  
  
Rory walked along. The night was peaceful, and with nothing else to turn to but the solace and comfort of walking alone at night, she continued on, running in to another nighttime figure.  
  
"OW!"  
  
Two Gilmore voices rang out into the night air.  
  
"Rory?"  
  
"Mom"  
  
"Well, I've always taught you sneak out when mommy's gone. I guess I can't penalize you for simply following my instructions."  
  
"Yeah, well, it was just ringing in my head. I had to sneak out. I had no choice but to listen to the voices."  
  
The two walked in comfortable silence. They both knew everything would all be resolved in the end. Banter was the first sign of coming around the bend. There was something predictable, and yet so oddly unpredictable, about Gilmore life.  
  
"I kissed Luke," Lorelai blurted, a grin spreading it's way across her face that only she was aware of.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?"  
  
***  
  
The two Gilmores weren't completely back to normalcy in their daily routine, but they were fairly close. There were only a few small differences. Occasionally, there would be a strained silence that only the scars of huge arguments can cause. More often than not, there would be a stolen kiss over the countertop that can only happen with new love. And ever moment, there would be heartache in the younger Gilmore's heart, a heartache that can only come hand in hand with loss.  
  
Watching Jess move swiftly around the diner, his eyes hollow, avoiding hers, made her ache for his lips, his voice, bantering with her, and his eyes, piercing into her. This loss was great, and she running low on ideas of how she should fix it.  
  
***  
  
As always, though, night gave Rory Gilmore one last inspiration. She had been sitting, reveling in memories and teardrops. And she remembered where this had begun. The bridge. And putting her Chiltonite brain with her emotions, she came up with something she was fairly sure would work. She scribbled something quickly on a piece of paper with blue crayon, and stuffing it in her pocket, bounded quickly out the door.  
  
She took that familiar path down to the bridge, humming quietly to herself as her breath hung in clouds behind her as she walked. The evergreens lining the bridge on either rise greeted her, bending their branches gracefully in the twilight breeze. She knew he would come tonight, as he always did, to smoke his cigarette and mull over things. So she removed the paper from her pocket and placed it in the water, making sure it didn't drift too far. And when she heard telltale footsteps that proved her theory, she headed off quickly in the other direction. She didn't want to watch his reaction. She would wait for him to come to her.  
  
***  
  
To Jess: Please forgive me if I act a little strange  
  
for I know not what I do  
  
feels like lightning running through my veins  
  
every time I look at you  
  
every time I look at you  
  
help me out here all my words are falling short  
  
and there's so much I want to say  
  
want to tell you just how good it feels  
  
when you look at me that way  
  
when you look at me that way  
  
throw a stone and watch the ripples flow  
  
moving out across the bay  
  
like a stone I fall into your eyes  
  
deep into some mystery  
  
deep into that mystery  
  
I got half a mind to scream out loud  
  
I got half a mind to die  
  
so I won't ever have to lose you girl  
  
won't ever have to say goodbye  
  
I won't ever have to lie  
  
won't ever have to say goodbye  
  
Please forgive me if I act a little strange  
  
for I know not what I do  
  
feels like lightning running through my veins  
  
every time I look at you  
  
every time I look at you  
  
every time I look at you  
  
every time I look at you  
  
I Love You  
  
Rory  
  
***  
  
A/N: I know, it didn't bring the kind of closure I would have liked, but we still have the epilogue. Drop me a line, lemme know what you thought :) 


End file.
